No expectatations, no disappointments.

You don't expect anything, you won't be disappointed by anything. Simple as that.




rainy skies


It's kind of like opening a present. You hope so hard that you'll open up to a cute tote bag or fabulous sneakers you've secretly been admiring everytime you went shopping with your parents and thought somehow, they finally got the hint, only to open it and find that it's, well, not that.
As much as you told yourself that you it just can't be what you hoped it would be, you're one way or another, disappointed.
But you say thanks for the gift anyhow. It's only polite. And your parents smile knowing that they got you the perfect gift.

Or like in an examination.You studied well and hard for an exam. You sit for it. You confidently feel that to you the test was a piece of cake and without a doubt, will pass with flying colours. You shrug off any conversations which aim to discuss what you answered and what were the correct answers. When the test results finally come back, you take it back while in your head you say "Oh, another A" only to look down and find out it was a (gasps) B.
You smile weakly and say "Yeah, I saw this coming."

(I'm not speaking from this year's Christmas present-opening or exams. Oh, NO.)

Of course I've been disappointed plenty of times from past failures(non exam-related) and misfortunate events.
It is times like these that you learn from and tell yourself not to repeat those mistakes.
But then it seems easier too fall into a relapse than come to terms with trying to be better.

roof spewing raindrops

I know that with everything you do, expectation comes easily with it. It's something that's inherent. But like everything else, you can learn to overcome it.

Think Buddhist monks who defy normal human capabilities by stumping a panel of researchers with their amazing feat of emanating heat from their very bodies to dry dampened towels on their backs while sitting out in the cold snow, half-naked.

That IS physically more demanding, but with practise comes perfection.

Maybe you say that when you expect something, you are in a way motivating yourself to go further and achieve just that. Like you expect yourself to be a millionaire by the age of 30 and you want to make it a personal challenge. After several years when you do hit the 30th mark, only to find yourself in a mediocre monetary state, sure, that wasn't disappointing.

Maybe I'm taking the cynical approach to saying that expectations can be just another road to utter diappointment, but I'm not saying entirely that we shouldn't expect at all.

Ok, take presents.
Expect a camel, and open, walla! A Mendoza haversack. Hey, that wasn't bad at all.

And in exams. Ok, maybe I can pull a D.
Papers returned, Yay! A B!!!

So expect the absolute worse, or something totally absurd if you can't help not expecting anything.

Then again, it's really stupid if you didn't study at all and expect to score something you don't deserve. And even if you did expect for the grades you did get, and be totally discontented, do take the effort to change that mindset. (Somehow, this relates mostly to exams, and I'm speaking for myself too.)

I'm not implying either that whatever it is you do, you will always end up in a disappointing situation.
No, not at all.
It's just that, I refuse to let myself be disappointed because of my own doing or other people's for that matter. The only solution to that would be to just, think blandly, expect nothing, not least or most. Nothing.




sunlight squeezing through



So, just do whatever it is you have to in a certain situation without compromising your values and personality and just being the best person you can be and get it over and done with, without the need to have something in the end. (Yeah, like anyone listens. )

I guess that I've always been thinking about possibilities - that never happen.

Or maybe my sleep-repressed brain cells are just igniting this urge to be jaundiced.

I guess maybe I AM disappointed.
The ASEAN Scholarship is awarded to worthy young Malaysians who excel in their academics. Awardees of this scholarship are given the opportunity to study IN Singapore for a predetermined period according to the terms of agreement of the scholarship. The ASEAN Scholarship fully finances food, lodging as well as an allowance of SGD XXXX.XX per annum.

In short, this scholarship is pretty .... good.

And you know what?





I GOT IT!!!!





Ok, so I lied. I didn't get it. I wish I did.

But then hor, the prospect of studying in Singapore is simply stressful and pressurizing. With many smart asses hailing from Singapore and reknowned for their stiff competitiveness, particularly in education, who in the right mind would say that it isn't intimidating studying there?

Not me, of course.

I didn't know that the MOE of Singapore offered this scholarship to post-PMR/UPSR students as well.
That's crazy!
Why want to put yourself in a tense studying environment at such a young age? But then again, it could be a good idea to start from young. Sigh, the pursuit of better education is indeed a tough decision to make.

I was never offered anything from any institution for any better opportunity in whatsoever ever.
Like the time after UPSR (Man, that was a long time ago and utterly useless now) where some people were offered a place in boarding schools including some of my Non-Malay friends, and I didn't, I was unsatisfied.
I was not half as bad a student as they were, for crying out loud.
I know, although I had NO intention whatsoever to venture into any asrama for secondary life, it's always nice to know that you were good enough for them.
Now that I think about it, maybe I was too good for them. Hahahhaa....

Just kidding.

And lately, someone connected to me on a 2nd degree basis(a friend's friend) landed herself in Singapore after having received the ASEAN Scholarship. She's a post-PMR student.
Then I thought to myself,
"Hey, how come I didn't get one?"
"Oh, right, this scholarship must APPLY and sit for test one la. (The big A word)."

It's really as easy as it sounds.

First - Apply, hopefully you receive a 'thumbs-up' reply
Second - Go sit for the test.
Bo kan kor eh!!!


The kan kor (difficult) part is the getting-the-scholarship part.

I think I stand a good chance for getting it as any Tom, Dick, Harry, Anne and Mary out there.
But I think I would reject it if I did anyway.

'What the..?!? '

Sure, it's a good opportunity, experience, free money, etc. blah blah.
But as according to fore-mentioned reasons, I would not want it. Maybe post Form 5, yes la.
But right now, the only reason I would take the trouble to sit a test and cross my fingers in hopes of getting it would be that to know I'm good enough for the Singapore Education community.

Call me a narcissistic, egocentric fool, but think about it, isn't that one of the higher forms of compliments that anyone could receive?
It's just like pretending to not hear the compliment from someone and then purposefully beg their pardon to hear it again so as to boost your pride.

Foolish, I might say.

I AM entitled to my OWN opinions. And I AM entitled to my own wishes. So heck!
But it's too late now to change that now, so there.


There's another chance to apply for it during Form Five. You send in your trial results, and boom! You might find yourself in the land Down-There.
It'll be a tough time if you do. To keep up with the rest of the smart majority is in itself difficult already, what less being one of the best.

Happy Christmas Eve everyone!

This post is thanks to the recent announcement of the 2005 PMR results (so much for that).
IS THERE A SANTA?

1. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has ever seen.

2. There are two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT because Santa doesn’t (appear to) handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total to 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that’s 91.8 million homes. One presumes there’s at least one good child in each.

3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/100th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on into the next house.
Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purpose of our calculation we will accept), we are talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75 ½ million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once in every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc.
This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second – a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tonnes, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that “flying reindeer” (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. That increases the payload – not even counting the weight of the sleigh – 353,430 tonnes. Again, for comparison – this is four times the weight of Elizabeth Taylor.

5. 353,000 tonnes traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft reentering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTRILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he’s dead now.


*Disproving Santa with outlandish figures and some basic science.



"We wish you a Merry Christmaaass.....And a Hap..py...New...YEAR!!!"

The fun-nest part about carolling is not carolling at all.

(L-R)Shaun and EvanYoung jokers!!!!


With jokers like them, how to sing la?
Thanks to these two culprits, carolling wasn't all that boring as I anticipated it to be. (Note use of word 'anticipated'-It must have seemed really dreadful initially!This has got to be the biggest praise I've written for anyone in my weblog. They can thank me with gifts next time.)

It was a pretty cool deal - We carolled (good or bad, you can keep it to yourself), and in return they fed us delicious, scrumptious food! This comes once a year so hey, it was something not worth to be missed.

In carolling, there is no such thing as bad music.

That's Aaron, sitting in the far-off corner of the room with his guitar (miserable looking shot) praticising some carols. He got skill man! Some blunders allowance were still allocated, nevertheless.
discreet shot!

And for the beat and Christmas-eyness, there were the tambourine and the bells.

The cool thing about these bells is that with the right wrist size, you can easily slip them on and shake them effortlessly or while waving your hands in the air like you just don't care and still make good music!

Bells on my wrists
Coolness huh?

Last but definitely the most, is Santa.


(Maybe if you saw him for yourself, you might be thinking differently...)
I'm sorry but I find this mask terribly frightening yet amusing at the same time. I remember there was this one house we visited where the hosts were like "Oh my God!!!" when they had their first glance at Santa. I don't see why they shouldn't have said it.
To me, this Santa looks like a bad remake of an old 50's horror flick (Yuletide version).

*

A health message for this Christmas Season:
(Thumbs up for this final one):-




Morbid obesity kills. Stay away from Santa's influence.

Have a Blessed Christmas everyone!

(Click here for more photos from my buddy blogger.)
Sweet -
1. (noun) a small shaped piece of confectionery made of sugar - I enjoyed that sweet you gave me.
2. (adj.) having the pleasant taste characteristic of sugar or honey. - Your turkey dressing is a tad too sweet.
3. (adj.) charming and endearing - She likes it when people do sweet things for her.

Diagram with annotations (for meaning #3)


While watching TV, I silently took this picture of her





And let's take a closer look at that piece of paper.......





She wrote this with magic colour, see how the excess ink penetreated and made a tiny hole below the 'g'.

Awwwww.....So SWEET!
I went, I saw, I ate, I gained the weight I loss(and a bit more) from the sweet-potatoes diet. (refer to previous post)
What else can one do on a trip to Penang?

Excuses, excuses.

Penang is situated north of our country, just below Kedah, if you don't already know it (which would make you a really bad Malaysian). Consisting of an island and a mainland, this state which is connected by a bridge is a pleasant place to go for a vacation.

Especially if you are a serious food-addict.

Let me tell you why.

Penang is, in my humble opinion, the food capital of Malaysia. I might be overdoing it but you wouldn't know what I mean unless you go there for yourself. Despite its below average cleanliness and dense population, it's still worth it. I mean, who cares how many congested it is or how unclean the floor can be when the aromatic food arrives in front of you so swiftly?

I was there for a week (Dec 5-11) like previous years. It never gets old.

*
*
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In my most humble opinion.....

Penang food is significantly cheaper than KL's.

The ubiquitous coffeeshop dominates Penang's landspace.

You can find good char kuey teow sold almost anywhere you decide to eat.

You gain weight much quicker here than anywhere else. (Look at me)

*
*
*
A plate of...*
char kuey teow (Regular) - RM 2.70

chee cheong fun (3 pieces) - RM 2.20

ais kacang (with bananas summor) - RM 2.00

Western food (Fish and chips) - RM 6.50

eu char kueh (one conjoined piece) - RM 0.60

*(approximate price)

So, you can eat out for less than RM10 a day inclusive of drinks too, all three vital meals a day!

Let's see...
A cup of leong fun and a plate of char kuey teow = RM 1.30 + RM 2.70 = RM 4.00

Eat this twice a day with one eu char kueh (RM0.60) and a cup of hot kopi (RM 0.80) for breakfast which would come to a nett...

RM 4.00 x 2 + RM 0.60 + RM 0.80 = RM 9.40!!!!!
That's great!
This means that food expenditure in one month would cost you under RM300!! (except, of course, you splurge during the weekends)

(This brief Mathematics lesson was brought to you by Germae's Frugality Corp., turning figures into savings.)

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I think all Penang-ites know how to speak Hokkien, another Chinese dialect. So being a 15 year old Hokkien lang AND banana-ic, I felt compelled to pick it up whilst my week stay there. (With a history of Hokkien speaking parents who communicate in Hokkien everyday, yeah, I sure decided it right on time).

VERY BEGINNER'S HOKKIEN
(Broken Hokkien, terribly broken)
Wa kong hokkien bo tiok eh. Wa ka wa daddy kong wa ai kong hokkien, wa ai ee kah wa kong hokkien, ta pi hor, ee kong ah, wa beh sai eh. Ee ahne ho hor wa motivation.

Wa eh daddy sukak buey junk food(keling kia cho eh). Ee beh tahan mai buey junk food. Ta pi, ee kong che geh junk food aah kui eh. So wa ka ee kong, "Mai buey loh!". Ee kua wa, shocked eh look.


*
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*

Now I'm back, it's time to shed off some excess pounds from the waistline. Penang feeds you a lot.

: )
These are sweet potatoes.

The part of the sweet potato that is eaten is the tuberous root (as opposed to the tuber of the white potato). Because the sweet potato is a root, it lacks "eyes" or buds on the outer surface. Sweet potatoes have orange flesh with a high sugar content. The skin is orange to brown, and the ends of the tuberous roots are pointed. Sweet potatoes are sometimes mistakenly called yams, but actual yams are a tropical plant of a totally different species.


Not known to many, the sweet potato is a crop with a significantly unrealised potential for it is capable of producing high yields of dry matter per unit area of land than most other root crops. Sweet potatoes boasts the shortest growing cycle compared to others of its kind grown in the tropics.


In the tropics the fresh roots are commonly boiled, fried or roasted and eaten as a carbohydrate constituent of the diet whereas in the States, Japan and South Korea, sweet potatoes are utilised as livestock feed. The leaves of the sweet potato has recently been paid attention to for it contains 27% protein (dm basis).

Not bad for a humble crop!



I have my fair share of compliments for this cute crop.
1) It is naturally sweet
2) A 5-inch sweet potato satiates as much as one cheeseburger from McD's.(Not that I've tried this burger before) and
3) It has way less calories than a cheeseburger

I don't normally post such pieces on tuber roots and the like, so you might (or might not) be asking, "WHY?!?"

Well, because I have been on a staple diet of nothing but, well, unprocessed, boiled sweet potatoes for the past week (plus fruits and vege, of course).

Why?
Self-gratification To test my will-power.

Uhuh..

So, since I'm eating this root which I suppose isn't something one would do on a daily basis, I might as well do the honours of searching info about it. And there you go.

******
I'll be leaving for Penang tomorrow so I'm off to enjoy the wonderful tastes of (kononnya lah)"The Pearl of the Orient" !!!!

Bye bye sweet potatoes and hello ais kacang, char kuey teow, rojak, laksa, chee cheong fun, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH..... Here I come!

See you in a week....

By the way, who's for a sweet potato now?
The days have already passed the half-mark of my current school holidays. But..

I managed to clear up my working space although I have to admit, it doesn't have much of a difference now than it was then. Maybe just a little more presentable.

I managed to dig up my past, as in, old stuff I thought I would never see again. It's nice to remember what you did when you were younger.

I managed to drink 2 litres of water everyday for the past week. In this regard, going to the WC more often than ever.

Wonderful accomplishments, I must say.

Failed resolutions are always going to be a part of me. In fact, I resolute that I will not make any more resolutions. This, I tell you, is going to work.
5 Word Reviews(in no particular order)

1. Just Like HeavenSweet, romantic, heart-warming, love comedy.



2. The Village

Provocative, deceptive, suspensive, eccentric thriller.



3. Spiderman 2
Superly action-packed with hot guy.



4. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Witty, hilarious, deliciously fun watch.



5. The Passion of the Christ


Great portrayal of Jesus's Death.



6. Lord of the Rings

Worth every second of it. With a hot guy and a stellar cast, remarkable performance! (note:Trilogy mah, so can give 15 words)



7. ALL DISNEY ANIMATED MOVIES

(Monsters Inc., Toy Story 2, Pocahontas, The Incredibles, The Little Mermaid, Mulan etc.)

Disney makes good movies, especially animated ones. Aiming especially to the younger audience, it never lacks in the impartation of meaningful messages. Funny, dramatic, action-packed all rolled up into one good movie. (note:ALL Disney movies. Unlimited number of words lo).


(I wonder if this post is a subliminal reminder that I've watched too many movies lately. )
I was browsing through some old magazines that were clogging up my workspace when I came across an almost unreal face. Naturally, most faces found in fashion magazines (i.e. Seventeen, Cleo, Her World, Elle, etc.) are unbelievably (and horrendously) flawless. Needless to say, before these faces get on the magazines, first and foremost, the most important Photoshop-ly thing they must do is air-brushing (Even with an inch of makeup on this action of cover-up is still imperative).

What these magazines portray beauty as is perfectly smooth skin, eliminating every sort of inborn pigments or not-so-balanced facial structure. My, my, that's as deep as 1 cm water puddles!

Beauty is only skin deep. That's famously said but infamously undone.

Now, just looking presentable needs way more effort than it ever did.

Aside from the crazily-pricey products and stick-thin models they present inside such magazines (which does take up more than half of the whole one issue) which I think is just not helpful but instead envy-inducers, the featured health and life articles can be quite good-reads.

People, being easily-influenced creatures and all, fall for the so-called mainstream idea of beauty. It's no wonder why (the other) Silicon Valley is making big bucks and are profiting more and more each year. It's sad to know that people would go to such (sad) lengths to obtain their personal ideals.

"Perfection is Unattainable"

Now, if everyone remembered this motto the next time they looked into the mirror and don't see Mr./Ms. Hot Bod, it'll be totally cool.

It would seem hypocritical of me now but...

Does she or does she not look beautiful to you? [picture courtesy of m.e.]
Your answer : YES / NO (slash the unnnecessary)

Whatever you make out beauty as, the cost of beauty is, and always = priceless
~Be prepared. Come with an umbrella.
~Don't laugh hard whilst eating cookies. It'll give you a heartburn.
~If you took the stairs instead of the elevator, in a year, you can lose some pounds. MORE if it were the 22nd floor you're going to. (Provided you don't eat them all back.)
~1000 piece puzzles are fun to complete. 999 piece ones aren't.
~Trying to foresee the future may lead to severe day-dreaming.
~If you hope hard enough, some things might come true. If you do the same thing the following day/hour/week, it might probably not happen again.
~People have the tendency of talking real loud on the cell phone. Almost like you have to simulate the actual distance in order for the person to hear you.
~Embarrassment lingers on for a very, very long time. Why?
~Drink loads and loads of water. 2 litres, minimum, per day. It will do your lots of good.

Turning boredom into nonsense.
There's this little shop smacked in the middle of Johor which sells products made/derive from kacang.
What I found strange about this litle shop is that it sells only kacang stuff.

Okay, maybe I hear you cry "What about Famous Amos and Baskin Robbins? They're doing pretty well." Of course, these two brands, as I shall call it:

1) have a chain of shops throughout the whole world
2) set exorbitant prices on their products

Sure, it's pretty good stuff, the cookies and ice-cream. It's so good and so expensive, having it once is a while is pretty often already.

My parents and I were making our way back from Singapore when the coach stopped by this tiny little shop (I'm guessing it's not your typical corner lot) in Yong Peng, Johor. It is a locally-owned shop. It has no chain outlets.

In a slightly dazed mode and grumpy all the same since I was unwittingly woken up, I entered the shop. It was rather interesting because there was this man, I presume must be the "spokesman" for this shop, who had attached to himself a microphone. He was talking about the products the shop had (Honestly, I don't see the need for a microphone when the shop was small enough for anyone to hear him without a microphone). Everything was spoken in Mandarin, so yeah, me being the banana that I am, just nodded away and pretended like I understood every single word.

But nevertheless, there were free unlimited samples.
That was such a consolation for my inability to speak/understand my own mother tongue.
I ate quite a lot, till I couldn't take dinner later that day (It was during the afternoon). Since it tasted apparently good then and there, fellow busriders and my parents bought their stuff.

A few days after that, back home in Subang, we opened up the first foodstuff we had bought there. I couldn't help but notice that it was a little pricey.

'For only that much you berani set those kind of prices ah? Walau wey,' I thought.
Really, it tasted only so-so, something that gets old maybe after a while, you know? And the ingredients weren't unhealthy enough to be expensive! (Think funky chemical names in American food items)

Well, this tiny little shop is NOT placed right in the middle of 'Centersville'. It is situated in Yong Peng, and there were barely any moving traffic when I was there.

The likelihood that they get this many visitors everyday is NOT possible.

The likelihood that they get NO visitors in a day IS possible.

I guess that explains why after our coach left, the shop immediately came to a halt and closed for the day. I think they opened the same time our coach arrived. Hmmmmmmm.... long-business hours betul.

If business is as such, not setting prices that high would get them near bankruptcy in no time.

I guess that's why their motto is "THE ONE AND ONLY ONE IN MALAYSIA".
Oh, it sure is.

















Somebody stop me.
Today officially marks the end of my Form 4 days. I've stopped school.

For the year at least.

One thing I can tell you is this:
I will miss Form 4.
Sure, we sometimes do miss the things that we once had. Like they say, you don't know what you've got till it's gone.
Now that it's gone, in retrospect, there's a ton of good times.
I was thinking about the teachers we had. Some of them might continue on being our teachers but some of them, probably will not. I actually liked them all.
I just don't like some of the subjects. Hek.

At the beginning of a new school year, I will have all these butterflies fluttering around my stomach. I don't know why, but they just do come. It's like a dash of nervousness, a little excitement and the anxiety of not making it all churned up into one feeling. It settles down after a few days. It is all too common for me.
I used to dread going to school when I was younger. Now, it's much, much better.

Now that one school year has come to an end, here comes the time when we do the things we don't find the time to do as much as now. Or maybe the things we know we shouldn't be doing. Whichever la. I have a few things planned up my sleeves for myself, but my resolutions usually end up being far-fetched dreams, or perpetually-procrastinated ones.
It's a 'vicious' cycle, but look how I turned out.

No wait, forget that.




My scrupulous ramblings(of the school year)
Being an inborn pessimist, every new teacher that walks in the class on the first week of the new school year has got to be intimidating, if not terrifying. But they grow on you soon, and usually, they end up being an angel.
**
This year, BM was cool. Passing up homework was a matter of choice and not obligation. This has got to be REAL GREAT for someone who doesn't like to finish up essays in time, let alone ones in Malay. The teacher is super nice. She jokes around, asks and surveys who likes who in class and teases around. THAT'S the way to go! I'm so glad she is going to be our teacher again.

English was and is good. To me, it's a form of liberation from all the tenseness of some other subjects. I just like to write on and on about not so brilliant ideas, rant meaninglessly in complaint letters and pretend to be philosophical in Literature.
That is a form of expression, mind you.
I remember one time our teacher asked us to interpret what a Lotus Eater meant. We were split into groups and there were different views about it. Some had super incredible answers, others more logical and some were winding around in circles. But then, isn't Literature so subjective?
English is essentially my "mother tongue".

Maths. Easy, kacang putih, piece of cake, snap fingers, close both eyes, hide both hands also can one la.! (Say like this but cannot get 100%. Hah! Konon.)

Add Maths. Physics. Biology.Chemistry.
Amazing.
Enough said.
Although, there's still much to learn in Physics with a teacher like Mr. Wong. I enjoy the man's class. I just never said anything about understanding it.

History. Never liked it, never am, never will. I just don't see how it will help me later in life. Someone prove me wrong.

EST. Moral. I daresay that it is by luck you can pull an A1 in SPM. Let's see, let's see.

**
That's the gist of it. It's good to be yakking away without a thought in the world.


Things doesn't hit you hard enough until it's over. I wished I was more hardworking then. There, I said it.
Wish me all the best for next year : P.
Happy Deepavali and Selamat Hari Raya!

I suggest anyone who's anyone to have a nice makan-makan at their fellow citizen's place for these two festive celebrations. You'll never get that good a chance feasting on such dishes again in the year. Teehee~

Bye bye people. I'm fleeing leaving the country and I'll miss you all dearly.

Have a nice festive celebration period!


I don't know why but I like this photograph
. The resolution's a bit sucky here though.

Some of you might not think so, even if you're not the one who has been living in the same bedroom for the past umpteen years with the same rear view.

Things haven't changed much, maybe a little reconstruction when new neighbours move in, change of occupants who may/may not be less noisy, etc...
But it more or less still looks and feels the same.


*****************
All Souls' Day - 2 November 2005

Although it's 3 days prior to the actual day on the Catholic calendar, the reason for going there remains the same, whatever you make it out to be.

The atmosphere of the cemetery is sombre, visiting the grave of deceased loved ones, cleaning up what the trees had shed on the graves, and spending a moment of silence in due respect.





Although I have not met many of those whose graves were visited, I'm pretty sure I will someday.

It started off a bright, sunny, Sunday morning. As it approached noon, the weather got cloudy. It drizzled halfway as the candles were being lit.
What a peculiar coincidence.

I've been doing this a few years now. It never gets old; Touching the earth, burned by wax, cut by the sharp edges of the tombstone. That's that.




Death is inevitable. But does it have to hurt others in the process?
I guess you got to "Let Go and Let God".

I have one question:
By visiting the grave of long-gone ones, we show our respect, or so, correct?
But, why do some only show their respect when the person has died, but not when he/she was still around?

***************
~"When I'm gone, remember that I love you all"~




Warning: Long post ahead!
These holidays are really boring. I can't bring myself to do anything.
It's like this:

Makan tak lalu,
Mandi tak basah,
Tidur tak lena.


Not that I don't have the appetite nor bathe with hardly any water, but sleep, heh, well, dreams keep me happy and unrealistic, but you get what I mean.

I just wish something nice or exciting comes my way. Anything.

Until next week that is. I'm going on a vacation then. It's been a while since I stepped on foreign land and got a break from the confines of left my humble home for a while.

***************************
I was in school today to do some work when I saw my BM teacher. I approached her and got back my final exam results. Not surprising indeed as to what I got. Expected it, yet dissatisfied. I know I suck at my BM more compared to the three sciences.
But my BM teacher pointed out where I went wrong. It was really nice of her to tell me where my strong points & weak points were and what I can do to improve. But reading BM magazines every now and then? Sigh. The things you have to do.

She told me that she'll be my class' BM teacher again next year. I think she has got to be one of the most sporting teachers I know in the morning session. Which is a good thing, definitely.
Initially, someone else was suppose to be our teacher, but I guess she pleaded with the Head of the Language Department and got this spot back. Phew! I can't imagine having a BM teacher who does not let you off for not doing your homework. (That's what I mean by sporting. Hehe.)
She said that the Head of the Language Department didn't think she was capable of handling my class but she gathered the guts and insisted for it still. She wanted to prove them wrong by producing students with A's for BM in the upcoming SPM next year. She sure does have a vision!

I just wish I was better in my BM.

Compared to BM, my English is several times better. Compared to English, my Chinese is a hundred times worse, I can tell you that. To me, I feel that my not-knowing-how-to-converse-in-Chinese needs to be compensated by speaking English twice as good than an average English speaking person of my age.
But I guess it doesn't work that way. I'm no where near being eloquent in English.

I should stop being such a sorry ass.

So long and goodbye. I have to stop somewhere.

I was sitting in front of a guy with my knees touching his.

Okay, wait. That sounded almost wrong.

I was sitting in front of a guy I knew very little about with my knees touching his. It was intentional.

Okay, hold on.

I was made to sit in front of this guy and when I say my knees were touching his, his knees were touching mine too. You know, it's like, you can't kiss without being kissed.

Newton's third law - For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Not that it's anywhere near that sort of explicitness.

It was a funny situation.
The whole class had to do it, that is, to sit in front of a person of the opposite sex and have your knees touching the other person's.

WHY?

Well, it's to do with self-esteem. You thought what leh?

Clearly shown by the illustration above, both looked as if in a compromising position. I can tell you it sure felt like it. The reason behind the knee-touching: "So that you all will feel more uncomfortable". Damn, Mr. Kenneth was right.

Okay, fast-forward to after the knee-touching session and all.

*toot toot--------------------------------------------------->

Back to a semi-circle.
Here goes.

1. Self esteem is a FEELING you have about who you THINK you are.

2. Try doing this: Smile, and at the same time, feel angry.
Cannot right?

3. Take off that mask from off your face. The more masks you put on, you might not recognise the person in front of the mirror. (Don't take it in the literal sense)

4. Listening is VERY important. Not many people know that nowadays.

5. Be assertive, not passive nor aggresive.

This has got to be one of the cooler talks I've been to. Especially when there's knees involved.
Right.
Finally, exams are over.
I am so relieved that it's over.
I can't think of anything else to be happy about at the moment execpt that exams are over.

Exams are over. There.
Since exams are not over yet, I can honestly and courageously declare how screwed I am for this final exam.
I'm quite serious this time. I was practically in a mental block the whole way.
It's not about not having the confidence to say I did my best, because I know I didn't.
Don't take it as me being immodest, because I'm not. I'm just really screwed.
My definition of screwed-not as good as last time, which was not VERY good to start with.
I guess I expect a lot from myself, hence the anxiety.
The cold weather doesn't help when writing essays. Especially when you don't have nice, neat handwriting to start with, and then the rain induces the ugliness because your hand gets severely cold and unable to hold the writing tool properly, it further exacerbates the problem. Die man!
I just hope this doesn't happen:


Then I'd be more than just screwed.
My ramblings are much easier to post than other things as of now. Until 12.30pm next Monday, perhaps. Then I'd be free, free to do the unnecessary, uneducational long-awaited things I have long listed down in my mind. I shall not go into detail.

I better not mess this one now. Tata~
I'm going to enjoy the cold air while it lasts.
Have any of you guys out there ever read Antoine de Saint-Exupery's The Little Prince?

If you're ever interested, the internet's a good resource. You can actually read the entire book online at no hidden costs.

This book may appeal to some, while to others it may look at first glance like a children's book.

I don't wonder why.

Originally in French, it's not exactly a children's book. But it does appear to be a simple children's tale.
To some, this book may seem to be a story delving into the profoundness of life. Nothing short of a moving tale. Written in riddles and metaphors, it was a superb read.

I loved it so much that I even included the author's picture. Here it is:
This is Mr. Antoine de Saint-Exupery. He was a pilot in the French Army Air Force. Albeit his aviation career, he drew upon his experiences after being refused from the U.S. Army on becoming a fighter pilot to write and illustrate this wonderful fable. Sadly, on 31 July 1944, as Mr. Saint-Exupery took off for a mission, who would have known that he would never be seen or heard from again.

Obviously enough, this is a picture of the character mirrored by the title of this story:
This is the little prince who came to earth and meets an aviator who had crashed in the desert.


A curious little picture. The second illustration in the book. (At least, it is in the version I read). take a wild guess as to what it actually is.


Unless you become like little children . . .
    Saint-Exupéry understood the words of Jesus, "Unless you become like little children, you cannot see the kingdom of God." Never mind understood them, he lived them. Exposing your childlike attitude can lead to ridicule, but Saint-Exupéry gets around that problem by presenting his thoughts and feelings not as his own but through the words and actions of the little prince, a child who will never grow up on this cruel earth, the earth which expects all children to turn into logically thinking adults.
Quoted from suite101.com


**************************
'What is essential is invisible to the eye.'

'You become responsible, for ever, for what you have tamed.'

'.....He was just a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I made him my friend, and now his is unique in the world.'

'Whether it is a house, or stars, or the desert, what makes their beauty is invisible!'

'For, to the conceited man, all other men are admirers.'

''That is the most difficult thing of all. It is far more difficult to judge oneself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself correctly, then you are truly a man of wisdom.'

quoted by moi,according to the original text.

**********************

There you go. By far, one of my favourite books.(=



I went for Sunday School today. I confess that I was feeling kind of sleepy during class.
Must be the extreme humidity and heat this morning.

It sometimes can be hard to believe when you hear of a fellow Christian who died by means of suicide.
I heard of it today in Sunday School. It apparently appeared in the papers; this boy from La Salle. He goes to church at OLL, or so I heard. That must make him Christian, I guess.
I mean, to me, I find it ironic that someone who has accepted Christ as Lord and Saviour can stoop down to doing such a selfish act?
Isn't it the truth that no matter what you're going through, God's always behind us to catch us whenever we fall and no matter how big or horrible our problems seem to be, it's not actually as bad as we make it to be?

Because, it is said in Matthew 11:28 :

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."


Maybe I'm just being selfish myself by saying that, but to me, that's where I stand.
I don't know this person, but I'll pray for his soul.

And talking of the passing away of fellow peers, I know of someone whose friend died just recently. This friend of mine was seriously devastated, and suddenly blurted out this question, "My friend is not Christian. Will he go to Heaven or not?"

I was stunned. I really did not know how to answer this person.

Aren't we all God's children? What about those who haven't heard of Him before?
How about those who led good, pious lives but did not hear of His word?

Like I said, today isn't most Sundays.
This script was spontaneously done by Karts and I (on the aural test day itself!).
It was a pair thing, so here's the dialogue. Enjoy.

***********
A Visit to the Zoo
"Hey Karts! I tried calling you last Saturday but you weren't in."

"Oh, I was at the zoo at the time."

"Oh really? I was there too, three hours after I rang you up."

"Really? How come I didn't see you?"

"Well, it was three hours later. By the way, did you notice the that the price of entry tickets have risen over the past year?"

"Yes, I did. This is probably because many tourists pay a visit to the zoo, so trying to make the most out of it, the zoo management increased the price to maximise profit which in our standards is far too unreasonable."

"Whatever it was, I did have a hard time trying to get through the zoo's main gate."

"Why is that so? Is it because you didn't have enough money on you?"

"Oh, no. I sort of got stuck at those revolving grill doors."

"Oh, okay. Silly you."

"Yeah, silly me. Anyway, the first animals I saw were those pink-coloured birds that were lazing around in the pond. I think they were called the, er - plamingeese?"

"You mean the flamingos. Do you know why they're pink in colour?"

"Flamingos aren't actually pink by nature. It is their diet that gives them that pinkish colour. A flamingo's diet consists mainly of near pink-coloured crustaceans which in turn gives them that pink on their feathers. That is why each flamingo has a different shade of pink on them."

"I see. Well, I, for one, saw the king of the jungle."

"King? So does it wear a crown?"

"No. It's called as such because it has a big, bushy mane. This animal is the lion, of course"

"Ah, I knew that."

"Do you know how a lion marks its territory?"

"Erm, does it stand upright and then hammers planks of wood to barricade its land from other lions?"

"Of course it doesn't. A lion urinates around its self-proclaimed land to mark its territory. This is done so as to warn other lions from invading his space. It is also a procedure for attracting potential female lions, the lionesses and then mate."

"Oh, so after they mate, these lions will then lay eggs and then they will look after the eggs?"

"Oh, no they're not. Lions are mammals, warm-blooded animals who give birth and milk their young."

"Oh, so mammals don't lay eggs?"

"Well, there is one mammal which does lay eggs. Its name starts with a P..."

"..Pongo?"

"..and ends with an S."

"..Pongos?"

"It's the platipus actually. They're the only mammals which lay eggs."

"Oh, I see. Say, did you see the animal that wears a tuxedo?"

"What? The zookeepers actually make tuxedos for it?"

"No, I mean that it's like, printed on their bodies. It's natural. It is none other than the penguin."

"Really?"

"Mm hmm!"

"Where do these penguins live?"

"Penguins as a matter of fact hail from the the Arctic. Penguins too live in anywhere where it is really cold and have icy water because they're suited for environments like this."

"So that makes the penguins cold-blooded?"

"Oh, no. Penguins are warm-blooded. They keep warm by having thick layers of fat beneath their skin, or blubber. In fact, the blubber is so thick that it makes their head and limbs look like excess body parts sticking out of them."

"Hmmm, I see."

"And, since they're so fat, they can lie on their front and slide around on the slippery ice which eases travelling between places."

"My, that's very fun!"

"Sure is. Did you pay a visit to the enclosure next to the penguins? That's where you'll find an animal who beats its chests and scratches its armpits."

"Oh, do you mean the parrot?"

"Er, no. I mean the monkey."

"Oh, monkeys. I am especially fond of the orang utans. Did you know? Orang utans have many similarities with us human beings. That is why, in Malay, their names mean man of the jungle."

"Oh, I have a general dislike for primates."

"Why is that so?"

"I had a bad experience as a child. I'm actually monkephobic."

"Monkephobic? Is that really a valid phobia, or are you just making it up?"

"Well, it isn't actually. But I do have a fear of monkeys. I was traumatised before."

"Please don't exaggerate. Anyway, did you see the birds? They were right next to the monkeys. Did you see the parrots?"

"Oh, I didn't notice them. I was too busy cursing the monkeys."

"Well, they had so many different types of birds. There were kingfishers, hornbills, tiger fish ...."

"I thought you were talking about birds."

"....birds. They actually look a lot like tiger fish."

"How interesting. I did miss it."

"Nevermind. Did you see those elephants? They had the Borneo elephant. This species of elephants come from the Borneo islands and are threathened by extinction due to the mouting activities of deforestation."

"That's very sad."

"Yeah, it is. They also had the much larger elephant: the African elephants."

"Oh, they did? I thought they were just the mommy elephants. Guess I was wrong."

"They had many other types of elephants there too."

"Oh, I'm sure they did. You know, the last place I visited before I exited the zoo was the reptiles?"

"Oh yeah, me too. There were so many of them. Did you see the chameleon?"

"There was?"

"Yes. Chameleons are animals capable of altering the shade of its body colour to match its surrounding. This is a protective measure to save itself from predators. This is called camouflage."

"Oh, is that so? No wonder! I thought they took away the chameleons when I came to its glass box because all I could see were sticks and leaves. Looks like it was just camouflage."

"Well, it could be."

"The last animal I saw was the komodo dragon."

"Dragon?"

"Oh, I don't mean those fire-breathing creatures you read about in storybooks. Komodo dragons are actually lizards with scaled-down, crocodile-sized bodies. They are quite large in size. I was lucky to view it during feeding time. They ate huge chunks of red meat, you know. It was gruesome."

"All in all I had a great time at the zoo. I think zoos are important because with them, we are able to let the future generation and ourselves to see these animals with their own eyes. It would be an educational experience, besides enjoying the sweetness of creation."

"And, we get to see too animals from across the world, from different continents which we might not be able to see with our own eyes if not for them zoos."

"It's getting late. I have to go have dinner."

"You're right. Me too. See you soon."

"See you too. By the way, what are pongos?"

**************************
I hope that it wasn't too confusing as to who said what.
All bimbo-ish remarks were intentional.
Excuse the possible factual errors. We barely had time to revise our non-existent script.

It was fun while it lasted.

Just to end all questioning, this cliche title was taken from an English reference book.
Isn't it obvious?
These past few weeks have been rather dry.
Bak tanah yang gersang di gurun.

Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary which could spice some excitement into the monotony of my routine life.

But I have got to doing some thinking though.
Maybe that's why my posts have been significantly short and doesn't seem to be inspired by some stimulating going-ons.
I have a lot on my mind that needs to be resolved, as far as my congested brain tells me.
I'm not about to wallow in my so-called dry spell. Just thought I'd share with you people my "current affairs", not that I went into details. If there were any.

It's one of those days where so many things seem to bombarding your mind but somehow, you just can't get the hang of pinpointing what exactly is the matter.
I think.
- - - -
I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow.

Tomorrow is a different day.

Tomorrow may change.
And it usually does.

Maybe tomorrow I'll be inspired. Tomorrow is a different day.
I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change (It's not all that simple)
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away (the nerve!)
Now she's left
Cleaning up the mess he made (her resilience. Fu yoh.)

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break (<---------------- YES)
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from (note underline.)
A woman's good, good heart


On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world ( She feels too, so handle with care.)

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

(John Mayer - from Heavier Things)
************
I love this song. It isn't the latest song now but it sure resonated in my mind for a very long time.
I'm not a boy-hater feminist. I'm just pointing out the meaning of the song, thank you very much.
Note : This is not an entry about National Day. It is merely a post that so happened fell on Merdeka day. Now...

Are Malaysians generous with smiles?

This is a rather subjective question.
Honestly, I would say no.

I have been to many places where one meets people who they would most likely not be meeting again.
Or at least, won't remember how the other looked like.
People who sit behind the counter which I have always supposed to be giving service with a smile did just that. Not smile. As small a gesture it may be, it does go a long way.
In fact, if they were to be compared with me, I am the one giving more courtesy(smiles, greetings, genial words) than he/she is.
Talk of irony.

*Excuse the apparent overself-esteemness, but I'm just trying to prove a point that is true.

Call me bitter, but hey, I have seen far too many of these people to leave it unmentioned.
It's time for a revolution.
Smile till it hurts.

But it isn't just at service places that these such people are met.
Walking around my housing area is one good example.
Walking at the opposite direction of a person is the scenario.
Enough said.

I have a gut feeling that bursting a smile now must be a sign of contempt.
Or that most people have got this no-turning-the-corner-of-your-mouth-upward rule in the presence of others.
It gets intimidating.

: ) / : l

Your choice.

Happy Merdeka Day all Malaysian Citizens!!!

Don't not break a smile now.


To some many, I don't look like someone who runs for competitions or for the sake of keeping fit. In fact, they're not wrong at all.

I don't run.

I jog.

I don't run just so I stay healthy.

I run because I'm obliged to.

Honestly, I don't even look at myself like a runner since I don't have the nicely-toned legs, muscular arms, lean body and the straight, rigid poise that most others would possess. The list actually goes on but I have to cut myself short somewhere.
Clearly, I'm envious of them.

*******************
I've never really taken running seriously since I don't think I'd do well in it anyway, but just the other day, a last-minute call really got me.
I was forcedfully asked to join the relay team to run.
The event was two days from then. And it was a big thing alright.
I haven't done anything to prepare myself.
What on earth.....?
Then again, the teacher-in-charge did say, "Tak apa ke kalah atau menang, asalkan kamu lari sahaja."
Ah. Now THAT'S the spirit!

One thing I learned about the human body after the ever-so-daunting day is that insufficient warm ups can cause serious damage. Not a severe one but rather a damage that takes a considerably long time for recouperation. I did know about it before, but, well, being me and all..
Bad enough.

The atmosphere in the place of competition which was at Uniten's stadium was seriously pressurizing. It could almost kill.
I don't know why but even when we were told that it didn't matter whether we lost or won, we can't help but feel like we had to win this.
Kiasu-ness.

One good thing about relays is that no matter what position you come out as, it's NEVER entirely your fault. Unless you dropped the baton or fainted half way or something.

Being on the track makes you a nervous wreck.
Once the baton comes, you just have to let go and not let your mind be crammed with thoughts.
Free. Run. Now I sound like I'm brainstorming advertising ideas for Nike Free running shoes. (Man, do they look/feel good or what?I'd like one of those.)

Run, and run without a care in this world. Those spike shoes really are super light. And the track field is the nicest surface to run on. It HAS been a while.
It's weird you know, being on the track and then before you know it, you're back at the spectators' sitting area. It's like a blur. Serious.
But of course, it's WAY nicer to be seated than having to stand upright and then run on that red track.
Next time, I will never, NEVER EVER again not do proper warm-ups. The repercussions - bad muscle strains.
Hey, like I said - It's been a while.
*******************
Toi et moi?
Jamais.
Mais j'immobile me rappellerai vous.

Mais la vie passe.

Am I right?
Je vraiment ne sais pas.

C'est la vie.
**********************
Talk of influence.
Speak the (supposedly) language of love.
Uhuh.

Just so you know, this is French. The French are (in)famous for their romantic gestures and not to mention, language. (i.e. French kissing and the French language)

Having a sister living under the same roof again after coming back from France for the short period of the summer holidays does make you want to learn French. At least, it does for me.

Thus, this post which so happens to be my first one in a foreign language. Half of it, anyway.

It doesn't matter what it means, it's pretty much basic French that anyone would ask at first.
So, if you are desperately curious as to what it means (which by the way, is not a reflection of the way I feel), go to some translator sites.

Sheer fun. Fun for me, don't know about you people though.
Imagine what I wrote as a few lines from a French movie.
Now THAT's imagination..

Go to babelfish.altavista.com if you are ever so free. And curious.
40 students. 2 teachers. One bus.

Making their way to PJ nursing home, some with nervous hearts, some with enthusiastic spirits and others were just keeping their cool.
Not to mention those with MP3 players and redundant gadgets on a trip such as this.
Right.

8:30++a.m. - Boarded the bus. Ran to back seat. Won.

Before 9:00 - Bus departed from school. Students get restless, hungry and annoying.

Around 9:30 - Reached PJ Nursing Home. Didn't realise how close it was to Assumption Church.

Around 9:35 - Finished taking group picture. Entered house.

Now.

The nursing home is a bungalow that seem to be in a rather impoverished state, but nevertheless it still was in working condition. The exterior of the home was like a flourishing garden that looks like it is on its way to becoming a virgin forest. Or maybe I'm just exaggerating. But it did look welcoming.

I've never been to an old folks home before and I was really at a loss when it came to talking to them.
Besides, I'm the biggest, yellowest and most unembarrassed banana in school.
Till today, that is.

We had till 12.00 p.m. to do whatever it is we had to at the nursing home. This trip was actually organised by the Panitia Moral of my school. The aim was for us to gain expereince and learn something. (What I'm sure of is that most of them did not have to learn that being a banana is a setback.)

There were about 20 or so inmates in that home. All above the age of, what, 75?
It did take some time for us to get comfortable before we did some chit-chatting.

What I always thought of if I ever went to an old folks home was that they'd talk to you about everything under the sun relating to their personal lives(in English too) for as long as they'd want to.
But I was wrong. Eheh. About the language part, of course.

It was not easy to hear what some of them had to say(it's not any better if you need a friend to do some translating), but we all knew that they were happy to see us.
We were paired up and were assigned to the task of interviewing any one of the inmates, with questions like how old they were, why they are in this home, their children, their medical history and etc.
Again, my friend did most of the talking.

There were all sorts of people there. Some are very sporting, some are friendly while others were just plain sweet.

And then came lunch time. I was in this room with a lady who is bed-ridden and could barely talk. One of the helpers was feeding her, and she asked whether we'd like to feed her. We did.
After a few spoonfuls, the lady said that she was full, barely audible.
We were kind of hesitant to keep on feeding her because somehow, you'd feel guilty to do something against a person's will.
The helper came back and fed her. She just did it at a steady pace. To us, it seemed like a torture for the old lady to down her food.
She had to. If she didn't eat, she'd need hospitalization. And that's not what anyone wants.
Finally, after 20 minutes or so, it was done.
I don't know whether it's wrong for me to feel sorry all the time for these senior citizens.
Most of them were sent back to their rooms after lunch time. It was almost 12 so we had to go.

12:05 - Back on bus. Thinking about the whole trip.

Life is a continuous struggle.
Regardless of your age.
It was an eye-opener. Really, it was a great thing for us to go there. You can see it in their eyes that they were glad to see us. It's this sort of deed that makes people happy.
I never really knew that this was how it's like to be at an old folks home.

All I'm wondering now is - Is it wrong or not to send your old parent to a nursing home?
Because it seems like a first class ticket to the longest guilt trip, ever.

*No pictures included due to the fact that yours truly doesn't have a digital camera to call her own.
I read "Flowers for Algernon" yesterday night. (After much postponing. Sorta.)

SPOILER WARNING (continue only if you're not planning to read the book, not minding the fact that I might spoil it for you or you HAVE read it already)

Okay. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Now......

At first glance, I thought this wasn't a book worth reading. Come on, the first page itself had a lot of spelling errors(which I later found out was as the author intended.)
At first, I didn't plan to finish the story in half an hour but rather, read the first page and see what's it all about.
With THAT said, obviously, "Flowers for Algernon" was a page-turner.
Either that, or I was really bored and had to resort to reading something.
No, it's the former alright.

Although it's a science-fiction (or maybe not) story, it is as much down to earth as it can & should be.
It's not so much the fact that it had to do with intelligence-boosting operations and the possibility of increasing I.Q, etc. that kept me interested, but because Charlie, the main character, is an intriguing person in the story.

It tells of a 32 year old janitor who volunteers for a brain operation in which can increases his brain power.(No, it's not all that lame as it might sound now). He undergoes the surgery, and in a few months, he gets fired from his job and loses his friends due to what has happened. He doesn't understand why, eventhough he is really, REALLY smart. Soon, he finds himself deteriorating from the inside. He becomes a recluse, irritable and not the same as before. In the end, what he feared that had happened to Algernon happened to him.

Ok, ok. I won't go into detail and spoil it for the rest of you people.

Basically, it's a story that has a soaring climax and a depressing ending. (Whoops!...)
There's so much of moral lessons to it. And by the end of the story, I had a lot of questions to ask myself. I think you might too.

If I wasn't sleepy and tired yesterday, I might find myself shedding some tears.
It DOES get sad.
It's deep. It's profound. It's "Flowers for Algernon."

*If you are STILL planning to read it and do not know where to find it, you can ask yours truly to lend it to you. I wouldn't have to if I knew where to find it on the Web. Eheh.
Char Char, if you're reading this, I'd like to wish you a VERY HAPPY SWEET 16!
*Woohoo, you're a year older than me still. And ever. Eheh.


The cheesecake I never made. This is for you. (Pretend like you)Enjoy it!

I don't know what's with 16th birthdays and it being sweet and all, but hey, I just said it to make the wish sound all the fancier. Right.
[Note: Mine's next year. 20th April 2006(Remember!). Take note fellow visitors. ;-)]


I suck at getting birthday gifts for people.
Get that. But then again, presents mean nothing compared to the friendship itself, huh?
No, no. This isn't me trying to validate my 'great talent' in present-giving. But I do try.



(Comical friendship. Kinda cool)

**********

Sunday school was cool today.
It's cool every week but today it's extra cool-er.

We learned the different characteristics girls and guys look for in a friend.
Let's see the results :

The girls said (best seven)....

  1. Outgoing
  2. Honest
  3. Loyal
  4. Trustwothy
  5. Kind
  6. Generous
  7. Caring

And for the guys, well.....

  1. Outgoing
  2. Physically strong (what the??)
  3. Smart - study (right..)
  4. Sportsman
  5. Honest
  6. Rich (I say no more.)
  7. Sociable person
Girls' comment on guys' choice of qualities =
"How materialistic.... Shallow betul...Horrible la you people!"

Guys' comment on girls' choice of qualities =
"You girls have boring friendships..."

Uhuh.
Shows how we can't agree with each other about friendships.
(Rich? Physically strong? Where does that leave the poor and the differently-abled people? Goodness.)

Now, Chris intervenes.
He concluded that girls are more emotional in their relationships and for the guys, well, you know where you stand la...
I couldn't have said it better myself.

But that's not the end of it.

Chris shoots a question at us. After disagreeing with one another for a long while (glaring at the guys-laughing at the girls), Chris says, "If this was a boy-girl relationship qualities-survey, you guys would just have to change your mind. I mean guys, you wouldn't exactly want a girl who's physically-stronger than you are now, do you?" *Thinking of women wrestlers*

Class was louder than usual. Laughter is a great medicine.
-
Now, let me get to the part where the guys gave silly reasons to their choice of the quality -


Sociable person - a guy who can easily mix around with girls. Thus, being friends with him helps you get the girls. (Kononnya lah.)

Interesting definition.
I SO want to know now what other 'ambiguous' words that guys know.


*************
And that was the end of my (short) hiatus.


I seem to have a hard time trying to get myself to type anything. My conscience is telling me to start setting my priorities straight. SO, I can't spend long hours online anymore, or at least in the meantime la....

My fingers hurt from playing the guitar and piano so very aggressively lengthily. No typing yet again.

If there's anything you can do for me, it's giving ideas on what to write.

(Yes, I'm getting desperate.)

Ciao folks.

I do wonder whether the durian is a Malaysian fruit or some edible, spiky thing that grows on trees found abundantly in Malaysia.

Somehow, despite its foul smell which has earned itself the infamous title of the "stinky-est, smelliest, .. etc." fruit in the world, the durian has found its place in the hearts of many deep-rooted Malaysians.

I guess it takes a person to live long in the country before she/he starts to grow fond of the durian.
.........
I was sitting down, enjoying myself eating a few pieces of flesh from the durian when I realised how much better it tastes now then it did a few years back. It definitely isn't due to any genetic modifications done onto the fruit, seeing as how it looks the same as always, and in fact has less flesh in it.
I think I'm beginning to like it more and more, that's why.

Doing this kind of thing (sitting on the floor, eating durians, that is) which happens only once in a blue moon does seem like one of the more pleasurable things in life, minus the extravagance of sitting on golden thrones & being fed by servants and all.

Or maybe not.

It's a Malaysian thing, in my humble opinion. It's either you like it, or you hate it.
I guess its smell IS its biggest turn-off because really, its taste, texture and delightfulness is just the total opposite. Its GOOD.

But I do know of someone who despises durians after going to a bad experience with one. She/He has never eaten durians or any of its derivative since.
Man, is she/he missing out or what!

Ah, durians.
~ Sitting down immediately after running or doing some sort of vigourous activity that causes one to sweat profusely makes one's rear end to become more protuberant than desirable.

~ Knocking on wood will make whatever apprehensive things mentioned never happen.

~ When you have a fallen eyelash on your face, take it, hold it tight(with the tips of your fingers, of course), make a wish, and blow it away.

~ Laughing just before the start of an exam causes whatever information stored inside(the brain) to be gone in a flash.

~ Just passing Additional Mathematics in Form 4 makes you a genius.

~ Bathing after you eat causes your stomach to bloat.

~ Futsal is fun-ner than it looks.

~ Sophisticated is equal to suffocated.

~ White lies account for nothing.

* * * * * * * *
I don't know whether it is true what they say about not sitting down right after running, sweating, etc.. But from my point of view, my buns were bound to become big anyway.
About knocking/touching wood, I actually do that whenever I accidentally say anything that I wouldn't want to happen. Hey, I'm in school most of the time and my desk's made of wood. Enough said.
My eyelashes moult easily, I think. I've made countless wishes that (please note) never happened. Most likely because I make really stupid demands (i.e. I wished that my bank account miraculously adds another 3 zero's to the end of my current balance.). Right.
Laughing is the best medicine. At least that's what I've always been thinking. Exam or no exam, I laugh (loud) anyway, and mind you, I'm not that bad a student.
I've never failed my Add Maths before. Don't hope to either. But I don't feel a bit like Einstein at all. Not even close.
I always bathe after eating. I don't see much changes. Unless, of course, my stomach's already bellied.
Futsal's fun, if you got the makings of a futsal-er. Not at all when you're a talentless lass who dislikes ball games. You'll just end up doing the can-can on the playing field.
Sophisticated is equal to suffocated ; if you're Adeline. Not that I have a problem with it. "I'm going to sophisti..I mean, suffocate you Ade!"
White lies will remain just that, white lies. As much as it's a good thing, when the truth is revealed, it gets bad. So, keep it safe by being truthful and honest. *ahem.

The myths one learns and the superstitions you acquire while in school.
MY thought(s) for the day :

My stamina is diminishing at a worrisome pace.
I speak too much in the presence of peers.
Talking for one hour non-stop is easy-breezy. Depends who la.
I was patient and thinking rationally today.
I am not going to put my hopes too high on anything from now on, without succumbbing to pessimism.
Why people who once were your tight-buddies are now just hi-&-bye friends.
I'll never become a doctor. Long explanation.

Today was an unproductive day, yet again. But with a minor exception : I did strenuous exercise.

".....Whoa...."

Yup, out of obligation, I did. I'll be dead tired in school again tomorrow, seeing as how I'm staying up considerably late to write something like this.
I'm weak, it's true.

Shucks.
2nd July 2005
It's the median date of 2005.

And now I know that.....

1) half a year is indeed short. It doesn't help if you're the selamba type.
2) I am in dire need of some proper sleep.
3) the heat is getting to me.
4) being rational is the key.
5) all work and no laugh is very boring.
6) I dislike History. A LOT.
7) I'm missing my sisters.
8) I'm eating a lot more now. Oh dear.
9) I don't exercise like how I used to.
10) to every bad situation there's a good side to it
11) y=mx+c comes in handy.
12) anything divided by 0 = infinity. I wonder if it does the same for my financial status.
13) will power is a hard thing to muster.
14) I get distracted easily.
15) failing miserably isn't so bad after all.
16) not understanding literature doesn't make you a dumb person. Hey, not everybody can be inclined to that.
17) rolling your eyes is a difficult thing to curb. And it's also a VERY annoying gesture.
18) it's hard to change.
19) I'm not as thick-skinned as I'd like to be.
20) I'm not in proportion. Literally.
21) I can't keep a straight face when lying.
22) self-concious is my middle name. Not a very flattering name.
23) online-ing is fun-ner than before.
24) having an opinion for everything isn't such a good thing after all.
25) joking about in class can get you a bad reputation. Laughing loudly doesn't help either.
26) Additional Mathematics and Physics is cool. Better, if you've got the knack for it (which I wish I had).
27) I do have wild mood swings. I admit it, I do.
28) trying hard to not lose your cool is really, really difficult.
29) cliquishness is somewhat an epidemic around here.
30) girls are more sensitive than guys.
31) it gets boring around here.
32) responsibility isn't my middle name.
33) some people can hold grudges, like, forever.
34) I'm getting deafer.
35) I'm thick-headed. Not thick-skinned.
36) seriousness is not something I deal well with.
37) pressure is getting to me.
38) I have to go to Germany someday.
39) Mr. Wong is my mentor. In a way.
40) boys aren't how they used to be.
41) I'm self-conscious.
42) I'll never get more than 100 points in bowling. Weak. Wait, I do dislike ball games.
43) I'll never look at tai pau and chrysantemum tea the same way again. Don't ask.
44) having two elder sisters who are overseas and on scholarships is so not a pressuring thought.
45) I'm sarcastic.
46) not relying on God is a big No-No.
47) not having time for God is impossible.
48) going to church in the early hours of the morning is not ideal, especially if you've got to listen to a mumbled-through sermon which isn't exactly easy to do.
49) going to church twice a week helps.(in relation to No.48)
50) there's none like Him. Really. It's wonderful.

...
And that's about it for this half of the year. I don't know what will happen in the next six months to come, but I'm sure hopeful and optimistic that things can only get better.

(Just thought I'd count down):
20 days to (AHHH!!) my Piano Practical Exam.
24 days to Gail's arrival.
35 days to BK quiz and Lakeview Run.
52 days to Gill's arrival.
176 days to Christmas.
182 days to 2006.

NOW things look like they come by much too quickly.