Once upon a time, there lived a pretty little bird who went by the name of.... Bitty.
Bitty enjoyed the life of a bird, only because, there really wasn't another life it knew of.

Anywho, Bitty set off in the early hours of dawn, flapping it's non-too-majestic wings across the skies of over-developing Subang Jaya.

"I think I shall fly for as long as I like," Bitty said to itself.
As carefree and apathetic towards other matters in its avian life, Bitty flew around the neighbourhood, feeling like the only creature in sight.

"Wow, I could do this everyday."

For a long time, Bitty soared carelessly atop the roofs of the sleepy town.

Then, out of nowhere, a tomcat silently prowled the streets, looking for breakfast.
"Ah, there's a sumptuous meal for the day," Maley, the cat, told itself as it saw Bitty, flying a little too low for comfort.

As stealthily as it could, Maley creeped toward the unsuspecting Bitty, one step at a time.
Then, Maley jumped with all its might and clapped its two paws tightly together, hoping it somehow had its breakfast for sure.
But alas, Maley had missed!

Bitty, with its heart racing and pounding like it never did before, had just a narrow escape.
Adrenaline rushed in its puny body, and without much rational thought (not like birds usually do anyway), it flew into one of the neighbourhood's homes.

"Okay, there... There's a good place to run. I think... I think I shall stay in there till that evil cat disappears," Bitty said when it sees a room, perfect for a hideout.
Bitty flew, with all its might, straight into the living room.

"THUD!"

Bitty hadn't seen the glass door. At least Maley is thrown off track, for now.

*********

This picture was taken two weeks ago, before I left for Penang.
It's a curious little bird, that's why I captured it in this shot.

Why curious?

Well, it was around 8+ in the morning that day. I was nicely playing the piano in my living room, waiting for the rest of the house to get ready when out of nowhere, I heard a very, and I mean VERY loud 'thud' on the glass door next to the piano.
That completely took me off guard.
So, I ran to the glass door (although it was just right next to me, yeah) and then I saw this bird.

Poor bird, it really hit the glass hard.

Then, I went out, tried 'consoling' the bird, but I think it was far too disoriented to be aware of what the hell this human was trying to do for it.
I took this picture in memory of 'the bird that hit the glass door.'

Two good things came out of this incident:-
1. This little bird would be a little more careful when flying into houses the next time
2. My glass door has got to be pretty damn clean

And that whole story up there, I just made it up of course.
If I count down the days till college, it'll be a good 18 days before I start my first day there.

The number 18Maybe, just maybe, I'll have a good time as the bear is giving the impression of.

Oh jolly good year and a half ahead, probably!

Details of course:-
  • Cambridge A-Levels

  • Commences January 8

  • Spans over three semesters, totalling to 1.5 years

  • Costs a bomb (because it's at...)

  • Taylor's College Subang Jaya

  • Four Science subjects

  • Occasional displeasure a surety
The idea of starting another form of school is exciting to some extend, but I can tell you, it sure is bloody daunting.
I for one miss the concept of uniforms. They make everyone look the same and... uniformed.
Well, meeting new people is one thing to look forward to if only I knew what, more like who, I might be facing there.

But well, let's enjoy the Christmas season and leave the anxieties aside for now.

=)

My looks belie my age. And I mean I look older than I really am. No, I'm not trying to up my self-esteem because I don't want to be considered the older or oldest sister in the family. I just feel that when I hit 30, people would mistakenly offer me a golden citizen membership for whatever club there might be for me to join. That would be detrimental for my emotional well-being.

I wonder sometimes whether age numbers really matter.
Like, older women dating younger men.
Sure, there might be something wrong somewhere but really, where is the fault? As they say, love knows no boundaries, even the age factor. I do sound a bit hypocritical because I think if I were to date a younger guy, it would be awfully weird and inappropriate for me, but at the same time, what is the matter?
The immaturity, perhaps?
Perhaps because, it's not like age defines maturity all the time, right?
I feel like there are people who are more matured yet younger than me.

So what sets apart the mature from the immature?

It's not my call to give an opinion because it's an arbitrary viewpoint.

BUT....
Looking the part is not the measure of being the part, I say.
I see a ton of girls and guys alike who dress far too, how shall I put it, adult(-erous, not too mention) for their age, but when they start opening their mouths, you can tell they're not exactly very well-read people who know what they're talking about.
So to me, I say that maturity is the way you present yourself, the ability to put a self to the world that shows you know more than people give you credit for, or at least acting your age.

Body and brain sometimes don't match up. But you know, the world doesn't really care to say the least.

Drawing the legal line for certain (bad?) actions like smoking and alcohol consumption/purchase is a cause for rebellious inclinations by those that are of unpermitted age. You know, like the phrase "Rules are made to be broken."

I'm not sure where I'm getting at but hey, age matters matters. Heck.
I was net-surfing when I came across this tagline about a world-reknowned Chinese pianist:-

"Some people create poetry without ever picking up a pen."

I wonder if this statement applies to a complete unknown a.k.a. common student:-

"Some people score straight A1's without knowing how they could ever do it."

Oh well. Give another three plus months and we'll all find out. : P

************
There is no cause for celebration as yet. Most of my classmates are driving me green with envy (well, not literally) with theirs being over today. Biology is so close yet so far.
At least Bible Knowledge ain't that daunting. I thank God that I'm actually sitting for that paper. I don't think there'll ever be another Bible exam quite like it in the near future for me. Thursday's the day. Then it's holiday. Like, real holiday.

Pray pray pray.
The more I woe, the more I lose my sanity. But thank goodness the most daunting papers were over last week i.e. History and BM, so I think I'll just take a backseat ride for the next couple ones, mindfully wearing my seatbelt, just in case; ).

******
The Adorability of Little Kids

I've always been the youngest in the family (and that isn't going to change in the nearest future, or ever) so I'd probably say I'm the least experienced with kids, besides the fact I've spent less time on the face of this earth than my siblings.
However, that doesn't mean there isn't space for improvement. The number of cousins I have seems to be losing track of me so I guess you can't really blame me for not knowing the estimate number of cousins I have. Most of these cousins are younger than I am, and during this period of study, study, study, I've got two who're spending their holidays here.
It's fun, but not that fun when you can't blow your time with them. I hope I can improve my little children skills as I approach adulthood. Yup, adulthood.

Quotes from little cousin:-

"This is just a game right? So win or lose nevermind la."

"Your sisters are so cute." [My sisters are 4 times her age]

"I beg your pardon please (LOL)!"

"Where does tauhu come from?"

"This one not pretty. This one pretty." [Author slaps forehead]

Sigh. By the time these kids grow up, I guess they will lose that "childhood innocence" appeal.
Just like the author, and everyone alike.

******
Tomorrow's Additional Mathematics. Hip hip hooray! =)
As of now, I've officially graduated from Form 5 Bahasa Melayu, English, Mathematics, Accounting Principles and (HIP HIP HOORAY) History! That makes.... another 7 more subjects/15 papers to go.
God, please be kind to the souls of those who are in this with me for the next few weeks.

**********
The Freedom of Speech

Blogging has become today's instrument of conveying personal ideologies, venting political and social frustration or simply speak of your day and what you're going to buy on your next retail therapy. But truly, is online journaling an extension of the freedom that the Information Technology era supposedly offers?

The essence of freedom is to be free: to not be restricted by control or be repressed from the right to speech, action or thought. Imposing rules to an individual's entitlement to express his thoughts or views to the world defies the ultimate nature of freedom. But yet, the consensus is exactly just that; people who purpotedly go overboard are arrested by law, sometimes, without proper or fair judgment.

However, the freedom of speech can also be considered a bureaucracy of legality. The framework which constitutes what can and cannot be done in one's privilege to speech is truly arbitrary. One sure thing is that issues which may instigate racial or relilgious sentiments must, at all costs, be averted.

Truth be told, the term 'freedom of speech' is far too liberal than it really suggests. If freedom in its entirety is practised without binding to certain rules, perhaps running around publicly in the nude or screaming "Fire, fire!" is dismissible, not to mention ethically unconstrained.

Just like numerous issues such as the one being discussed, what counts is the rationality behind the speaker to observe the trend of his audience' minds. Perhaps it is alright for some to trash the government only because they are not blood-related to politicians. There are those who feel the need to bring pressing matters into the light despite risking unjust federal action. And then there are some who want to change mindsets which they believe are suppressing the advancement of their kind.

As for me, I feel that I can say whatever I want to say, whenever and wherever I want to say it. I just hope I don't look stupid doing it.

*****************
Next paper : English for Science and Technology. Watching documentaries and educational television programmes are necessary for this paper. It vindicates watching TV for long, extended periods of time.
Uhuh.
The lack of creativity in post titles need be excused. My creative juices have long ran out since the start of this pre-'torture' a.k.a. SPM. It'll come back, I'll say.

I've came up with a list of my "Most-Feared and Despised" creatures. [I should love all enemies animals. Apologies.]
And here it is:-

1.Monkeys
2.Leeches
3.Snakes
4.Eels
5.Mosquitoes
6.Rats

Monkeys are supposedly our closest relatives in the animal kingdom. Well, not the one I clashed heads with. It made me fear any contact with monkeys whatsoever, be it in real life or via television screen. I was a kid when I had post-traumatic stress(not EXACTLY) as a result of a wild loose monkey seeking what it claims as 'human interaction.' I beg to differ. It caused me acute fear of monkeys since then, and ever so often, I hyperventilate and 'hiss' at the sight of monkeys. (Only applies to the beruk/kera, baboons and the like which look identical.)

Anything that sucks blood is a parasite. Parasites cause you loss, in the case of leeches, it's blood. I don't like losing at anything, nor losing anything. It clings on you with its microscopic teeth, gnashes violently until the blood comes streaming into its vile mouth. That's so darn gross and painful and wicked! Scary.

Snakes are just slime-ily dry. It does not have limbs, just a huge, dreadful bite. Touching it is a cause of much celebration, cos it ain't too good a skin-touching!

I saw many eels in a tank ready for slaughter in a supermarket. At first glance, they look similar to ikan keli, but upon closer inspection, guess what? It's an EEL! The thing that sets it apart from an ikan keli, to me, is the fact that it don't look like fish one bit, honey! (Kinda contradicting there)Well, it has a long limbless body, identical to a catfish, but I can't find its eyes. Or head. -_-"

Mosquitoes. Enough said. [refer to Leeches]

I have fugitive rats in my house. I hope it ain't a sign of an imminent black plague or something.
Do this:-Stretch your left arm to one side and your right to the other. That's how big a rat is in my eyes.

"There is nothing to fear but fear itself." I should say this everytime I feel like I'm in Fear Factor, or in this case, being 'upclose and personal' with these 6 (and perhaps counting) animals. Eeeeeek.
This is the fifth one in the series [kononnya.]

I think I'm way passed the stage of complaining and lamenting about the upcoming "big-day." Besides, who prefers a person who complains than one who tells stories?
No complaints to that!
Instead, I'll just be talking about what I plan to do after that, which is terribly unwise to do so NOW. I've been holding back the urge to list down all the things I want to do after spm, which I have to warn, is an extremely long list.
On second thought......
I think I better save it for later.
Sorry, this has been a no-purpose post, although that's what this blog sometimes occurs to be.

*********
Anyway, here's a not so picturesque picture:-

A bloody bloody sock.
Leeches excrete an anti-coagulant chemical into your bloodstream as it sucks and feeds on your blood. Oh, that parasitic pest!
Leeches comes second after monkeys on my "Most-Feared and Despised" list of creatures.
This might not be such a jittery post; )
This picture was taken while I was on holiday a week ago. Alas for the cage, or else, all hell would really break loose.
I've been back since Monday. And its back to hitting the books (although there isn't much of a difference from the way I see it. Yup.)

I missed wishing a Happy Deepavali and Selamat Hari Raya to all. So well, Happy Deepavali and Selamat Hari Raya!

I was very disturbed when I watched Sepet and Gubra on Astro Ria just now.
First, the endings for both shows were beyond unsatisfactory.
Second, the plot is inconceivable for someone with an average outlook as mine.
Third, I can't put myself in anybody's shoes.
Fourth, I don't understand the storyline.
But I do have to commend on some comedic and romantic scenes. Other than that, it seems plain and bland.

Think long and hard. Maybe I shouldn't be watching all those movies now that exams are approaching. EEEEEEEKKKK!
I'm like, right in front the computer and typing this post out with this title.

Seems ironic.

ANYWAY, you know what they say about "Time is precious", "Time is Golden", "Never waste a minute of your precious time", etc.?
If those were rules, I've been invariably breaking them for as long as I can walk. Or maybe even longer.
Regrettably, I don't learn for the long run. Which is of course a bad thing. Especially when you're in the prime of your life where time-planning is like, imperative.

And that means ...... your whole life!

I don't think I manage my time very well. So I'm going to let you in on a little secret :-
I don't study enough and I waste time faster than you can say 'die!'.
But you know, who cares? It's the end result that matters, ain't it?
I still feel guilty for not starting earlier, which I only have myself to blame.

SPM may not be the most daunting examination for my level, but right now, it's the only one that I have to put my focus on. So, off to study!

* * * *
Am going on holiday in the wilderness that is Pahang tomorrow. Three days of mosquitoes and endless trees. : )
In another month, I'll be sitting for my SPM.

Hurrah!

[Everything prior to SPM will be posted with the aforementioned header and likewise during and after SPM]

There's so many papers to do; so little time. I have a stack of Chemistry, Physics, Biology and (ugghhh) History lying on my 'workspace' a.k.a. the living room.
Not to menti0n other books and online sources. I wonder if they're all going to be done by the time SPM arrives.
I realise now that regrets are aplenty: I should have started earlier and the like. Seriously, if I get to pull this one off, and that is, score what people expect of me, I'll gladly do a dance on results day. Mark my words.

Everyday, there's only so much to do :- eat, study, shit/pee, sleep. How mundane. I'm starting to feel like a android, without a soul nor emotion, but merely one purpose that is to... study?

In a way, I can't wait for SPM to come (and of course, be over!) because that would mean, when it's over, it's over! Everything about secondary school will be a thing of the past and it's time to look forward into the future. My, the future.

I think it's all too common for parents to want their children to do something that they themselves harbour for their ownselves since a long time ago. Like say, I wanted to be a doctor when I was younger but I ended up selling fake DVDs as an adult- that kind of longing, so I pass that dream to my child, hoping he/she will accept it in due time.
But maybe I'm just cynical. I'm sure there's freedom in some sense. Not that I know what I want to do yet.
Yeah sure, maybe I do have loads of time to think about it, but I don't want to be hasty when I'm running short of it.

Just the other day, my dad asked me "what I want to do" [note: 'what I want to do' at this stage always means 'what I want to study for my degree.' Long-term thinking indeed]
This question makes me feel like I'm in a "put-on-the-spot" situation.

When you're 'put on the spot', you deflect. So I deflected:
"I don't want to do any other Pre-U course but XXXXXXX" [I'd rather write XXXXXXX because I might change my mind next time :P]

"Aiyah, I mean after that. For degree."

"You giving me a choice ah? [Stunned but elated]

"So you want me to decide for you?"

"Well..... So if I want to do business, can lah?" [Note: Sarcasm. I prefer science disciplines]

"Business actually ah ...." [Begins education lecture]

********
So I guess that meant I deflected the initial question. And I'm still undecided.
I guess I'm anxious whether the choice I make will get their blessings or not.

But yeah, SPM's in another month. Creeps.
I have a problem.

This problem lies within me.

This problem cannot be dug out and be inspected physically.

This problem can only be alleviated with time.

This problem is coarsened by the world.


What is the problem?

The problem is me.

* * * * * *
Problematic problems.
Everyone seems to have them.

You know what I think?
I think we make our problems seem worse than they really, really are.
But the strange thing sometimes is that we compare ourselves with other people's problems, and then we feel better because we're much better off than they are.
Cruel, or smart solution?

Problems will be problems until we solve them. That is, if they really were problems to start with.
And 'twas that me is not ASEAN Scholar material.
Which is totally cool with me. I want to go elsewhere. Far, far away from here.
They tell you where you need to go
They tell you when you'll need to leave
They tell you what you need to know
They tell you who you need to be

But everything inside you knows
There's more than what you've heard
There's so much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words

And you're on fire
When He's near you
You're on fire
When He speaks
You're on fire
Burning at these mysteries

Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything You are
Give me one more chance to be... near You

'Cause everything inside me looks like
Everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I'll take

When I'm on fire
When You're near me
I'm on fire
When You speak
And I'm on fire
Burning at these mysteries
These mysteries...

I'm standing on the edge of me
I'm standing on the edge of me
I'm standing on the edge of me
I'm standing on the edge of everything I've never been before.
And i've been standing on the edge of me
Standing on the edge

And I'm on fire
When You're near me
I'm on fire
When You speak
I'm on fire
Burning at these mysteries... these mysteries... these mysteries
Ah you're the mystery
You're the mystery

-Switchfoot, "The Beautiful Letdown"-
The night sky is a remarkable piece of artwork. It's rather monotonous but the stars shine so beautifully, they colour the horizon enough, just as it is.

What is, really, out there?

The Universe is a vast space of just about everything.


There are numerous clutters of tight-knitted stars in the Universe called galaxies which are actually systems of billions upon billions of stars, held together by gravitational force.
Evidently, they come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, all of monstrous proportions.

Our Solar System, which is part of the galaxy Milky Way, is made up of 1 star (the Sun) and 8 other planets. (After much dispute among space scientists and astronomers, Pluto has been listed out of the Solar System as it has been claimed "un-planetly").
Earth happens to be the 3rd planet from the Sun.

Why all the talk on Outer Space?

I figured I might as well be an astronaut.

Well, no. I think it's fascinating to wonder about what is out there.

The same people who make up NASA think that too. After countless space explorations and expeditions, our Universe is becoming smaller and smaller.
Telescopes that defy the power of the naked eye are capable of magnifying planets in the infinity and has awed many through the discoveries they make.

Personally, I feel it is human desire and curiousity which drive space agencies to race with each other to see what the Universe holds. After reading 'Deception Point', I guess I began to wonder if it's all worth it.
If there were really other lifeforms out there somewhere, what would it matter to us?
It's ironic how some people can live by the principle "My business is my business, your business is your business" on earth but yet want to make contact with supposed celestial beings.
I don't hope to sound cynical but really, what is the potential of space exploration, having a ton of money dissipating on something that really, brings no benefit to mankind except global awe and envy?

However, it wouldn't hurt to wonder what there really is out there. Spending loads of money an ending with futility is.

Imagine if there was a planet far far far away which had humans or beings like us, capable of reason and thought, what would things be like if say, we made contact with them?

With all the insurgence and terrorism going on radically today, I doubt it would be a peaceful relation.
After the topic of "Pewarisan" or heredity in school some time ago, we learned about, well, heredity.
Under this topic, as biology students know, we learnt about traits, how a characteristic is passed on from one generation to the next, genetic variation, etc.

There is this one short part in the topic which explained about phenotypes and genotypes, so to speak.
Fenotype is the observable characteristics of an individual resulting from the interaction of its genotype with the environment, whereas genotype is the genetic constitution of an individual organism.

From the above statement, we can conclude with this word equation :

Phenotype = Genotype + Environment

(This is biology lesson number #XX all over again : P)

Hence, it is safe to say that we must not always blame it all on our genes for how we look like when in fact what our bodies become can be resulted from the fact that we
-plainly eat too much
-don't exercise enough
-forget our sunblock
-don't take enough calcium
so forth and so forth...

These are hard facts indeed.

I have some complaints of my own but I guess I wouldn't have it any other way either.

Ever since I was a young kid, I've always had these pair of "wholesome" cheeks (plump, juicy, voluptuous. You know what I mean).
From all my photos, yes, I have chubby cheeks, rather 'inconsistent' with the rest of me.
If I looked at my parents, neither have as puffed-up cheeks as I do. So what on earth am I doing with them, may I ask?
Well, genetics, I guess?
WRONG (Actually, it has to be since I've had it since young.)
But you know why I don't think so?
Because ever since I was young, everyone noticed how slightly plump they were and decide to make it a little bit more plump as they like it!
I've been pinched on the cheek far too many, many, many times. Be it a sign of affection or teasing, they do hurt when they're pinched. Regardless of how much they didn't think so.

But yes, I guess I got to live with it and I'm fine with them(except for the fact that it hinders wide smiles), as long as they don't get stretched further. Period.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

but.....

Out of sight , out of mind

?

Conflicting idioms which occur in the hearts and minds of people (possibly simultaneously?).
After being slapped for no particular reason....

The difference between a passive, aggressive and assertive reaction is :

1) Passive - Accept it as it is, keep silent and go along, not even questioning the action

2) Aggressive - Slap the person back and know that that was getting even enough.

3) Assertive - Ask politely what the motive of slapping was, getting a proper explanation. No physical course of reply.

To be assertive seems to be the most rational of the lot; but it is a fine line to tread on.
It's an option to choose, and know that it is the best of the lot.

I missed mentioning this in a couple of posts back but I believe it to be sound advice.
Jesus was an assertive man, if I'm not mistaken throughout the Gospels, written in scripture.
I guess being Christian is to be Christ-like and to emulate Him would be ideal indeed. As hard though as it is.
'Twas the Saturday........
As I sat on the enormous roots of an old tree, I noticed a snail's shell. It was overturned and I could see it's slimy body still intact within its shell. I wondered if it was still alive or was already dead.
I know that snails are harmless and are made food in some parts of the world, but I didn't dare to touch it and see if it were still alive.
I realised something as I sat there, that this snail had no way of turning itself upright again as it was overturned, to its disadvantage. It must be hard for creatures with shells and are incapable of getting back on track once they're overturned. It's a hard enough life for them indeed.

That was when I was at the big lake near the Lakeview Club. [Three rounds is no joke]
Nostalgic place: it used to be euqipped with these wooden sports equipment as one jogs, at certain points around the lake. There were these instructions on them that I didn't bother to read (I was c kid mah) and just did whatever the picture seemed to show. And I got a good workout, so to speak.
That was like, more than 10 years ago?
So much of changes have happened then ; the wood exercise structures were since dilapidated and torn down. The big 'conifer' trees have been cut down and are now only sparsely populating the surroundings of the lake.
People still go there to fish though.
[Three rounds make one's limbs ache.]

'Twas the night.....
How many of you guys have watched the movie "I Am Sam"?
I just caught it a few nights ago on my sister's computer. It has now become one of the movies in my "Saddest Movies To Date" List.
It's about this retarded man named Sam Dawson who has a daughter with normal intelligence. Then, people tried to take her away from him you know! Sad right?

Update :

Does me have what it takes to be an ASEAN Scholar?

: S

: /

: l

: )

Probably. Received a letter from the MOE of Singapore two days ago. Been shortlisted for interview. One more hurdle before anticipating the next acceptance/rejection letter.
Any comments on how to approach a formal panel of interviewers, do drop some.

3 weeks till Trials. Oh boy.
The last movie I watched was Superman, and it was when they were about to throw the movie of the listings. That way, you don't have to pay premium prices. Movies, whether you watch early or later, you still end up watching the same movie, so, heck. Just don't let anyone spoil the fun for you by telling you who dies or ends up with or what not.

Anyways, about Superman: he looks like one dummy. Not the stupid-stupid kind of dummy but the mannequin-in-clothes-store dummy. Even a replica of him in Madame Tussaud's would pass off as the real him in my opinion. But I think he's quite the good-looking man.
The show was rather bland, lacks the oomph of the series Smallville (although, quite incomparable since this is

I think I'm super desperate for something to write about. I've resorted to men in underwear being superheroes as the topic of discussion.
I've been out and away for almost a month now[blogging, that is]. Don't ask me why, I myself am not quite so sure ....

ANYWHO, for the month of July, (since schooling days lack a certain zest nowadays with trials and all approaching) I decided to mark the end of my.... well... piano-learning(???) which was wrapped up when I had my Grade 8 exam last Friday[Wish me luck, I hope it's really the end when my examiner said "That's it! That's the end!" and I headed for the exit.] with some cake-making!

Introduction :
I was never relatively good at baking (or even cooking for that matter) in my past 16 years of life. But when given the opportunity, it really feels fulfilling to try and improve your skills, even if my life didn't depend on it.

Together with my sis, we've had some baking adventures of our own lately (the most recent being pretty-crunchy scones which still had some room for improvement).

I skipped school today, and choosing the ambitious route,

I

MADE

CHOCOLATE

CAKE

ALL

ON

MY

OWN

!!!!!!! (If I'm going to skip school, I might as well do something productive, eh?)

*Due to the lack of help, I had to sacrifice some photo-taking.


Here is the outcome :

By far, my proudest baking achievement




Even a gold VISA can't buy you the feeling of achievement



Ms. Thumbs-Up says Amen to that!


This is what you call a moist chocolate cake. It's moist, it's 99% chocolate and it's sinfully delightful.

A bar of cooking chocolate? RM 5.80.

A packet of granulated sugar? RM 1.35.

A good bite into your hard work? Priceless.



Japan should have not lost to Australia.
Never.
Who in the right mind would think that three winning goals which so amazingly saved the Aussies' down and under butt were shot during the last 8 mintues of the match?

Absurd I tell you. ABSURD.
Today is....was my Sunday [as mentioned in previous post], and frankly, I'm dead tired. My brain is so not thinking properly right now as I am writing this out, so if there are any spelling errors, forgive the brain. I just had the sudden urge to write.

I tell you, I spent I think.... a very long time at Garden International School. In addition to that, I estimated an approximate 5 1/2 hours of sitting down and answering questions. My butt is feeling the pains now. Ouch.

I believe that one test straight after the other without so much of a break (after 2 hours of torture - Mathematics!!!) is bad for health.

As aforementioned in previous post, I had to sit for (grunt*) General Ability, which was entirely some IQ Test which plainly tests your Pattern Recognition Intelligence. So the tedious, pattern after pattern after pattern.
Then came Maths. Maths is... okay. I so want to hit my head for all the careless mistakes I did. (smacks*). Anywho, I do have a nagging urge to ask this question that appeared in the paper :

Alex can finish a job in t days. Bob takes t + 5 days to finish a job. Bob started a job and did it for 3 days. Then, Alex joined him and they finished the job together in 4.8 days. Find t.

Dammit question. Make me feel dumb only.

No wait, then came English.

English ah, what is dat? Dunno sum alien language la!

The English paper was indeed in accordance with the Singaporean standard. Outrageously difficult. Bombastic word after bombastic word. Let me recall some [don't laugh, I bad ingrish]:
averse, derisive, intractable, solace, deflected <---------Give the meaning of these words as found bold in the passage. It didn't really help even if it was extracted from the passage. They don't make no sense. I felt demotivated after that section. And I screwed up the essay. It was plain... lame. For once in my life, I think my English really sucked.

ANYHOW, I will have to go comfort myself with some chocolate then sleep. Thanks for the good luck wishes and prayer. If I get through to the interview in August, I'll keep it posted. I hope I don't break my fingers, crossing them too hard.

Oh, and God held back my runny nose the whole day. Now, as I'm typing this, I've used up like three tissues already. So much for distracting fellow applicants. Wahahhahaa....

To Jill - when you come back next Fri, be prepared. Be very prepared.

:P

School is starting tomorrow. So fast man. I miss school actually, so I'm not dreading it. The one thing that's missing is my memory of the past 2 weeks, because honestly, I forgotten everything that I did (or didn't) do. Mm hmm.

Happy Football!
I mean 'Fever' in every sense of the word.

Fever#1
I'm expecting tonight to be a very deserted night for the Internet. [Not that I would know, I won't be around to check up on it]

It's the start of the World Cup dudes and dudettes! I'm rooting for Germany (reason: self-explanitory) and Japan too this year, and I think either or both will get pretty far. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
I'm not very much of a football person since I don't keep up with the more famous leagues but since the biggest football championship that takes place once every four years is happening now, it'd be an awful lot to miss. The whole world would be tuning to it, I assume.

Have fun. Eat, sleep and talk less. More football. Fun alright.

Fever#2
High body temperature = sick kind of fever fever.
Piece of advice :-Never ever enter a convention centre where the nett number of people present together in the enclosed space fills up to less than a fifth of the total space. EVER.
It never occured to me to bring a coat or jacket to the Sunway Convention Centre two days ago when I attended a talk by Mr. Jack Canfield (author of Chicken soup for the Soul). The last time I set foot there was, if I remember correctly, for the Planetshakers concert late last year.
It wasn't cold at all then.

It wasn't cold for a reason: there were just about... a lot a lot of people there.

Then on Wednesday, I found out that the number of persons present together is proportionate to the temperature experienced in a controlled amount of space. Vonderful.

It was freaking impossible to write down presentably. I was freaking shivering and rocking on my chair to keep warm. I had my freaking cold hands under my thighs (presumably the warmest, most insulated body part) most of the time. I could have sworn my thighs were very close to purple.

But I leave with no regrets. Mr. Jack Canfield gave a really, really good talk. What an inspirationist.

Now, I'm having a very runny nose and I feel my defence system working hard to keep me from a fever.
[God, don't let me fall any sicker, please. Please. I need this Sunday* healthy. I need to be able to think and focus clearly. Unless it's not meant to be, give me the wisdom and strength to persevere in this condition.]
I haven't had such a bad runny nose in a long time. I haven't felt this sick all year.

With all the hype, I think half of all the conversations are going to be World Cup related once school reopens. Mm hmm.

*Will be sitting for the ASEAN Selection Tests this Sunday. Tests on General Ability, Mathematics and English. 8 whole hours in Garden International School. I'll remember to bring a coat this time, just in case. Wish me luck!


If I can increase my chances by distracting others with my nose-blowing, maybe having a runny nose is a blessing in disguise. And yes, this is the runny nose speaking.


Happy Football!




It's the holidays now and I've got enough time to sit down and stare blankly outside, at the garden and.... the expanse and start thinking about life's deeper questions. Not.
But I did do some thinking. And I think that thinking makes me think about things I don't normally think about.

Sorry. Allow me to rephrase that.

I thought about some things that I felt needed some deep thought over (studies not withstanding) during this free time. [Evidently, I don't think very much, eh?]And...
the time to write a post this long. Not like I think anyone has reached this far? uhum. And then...

This happened :

The world is made up of several types of people.

Without one of them, it just wouldn't seem..... right.

We go through our lives meeting all sorts of people, whether it is difference in race, creed, culture or beliefs, a brief brush or a life-long relationship with a person will leave an indelible print, deep or faint, in a person's life. I believe that this is so.
These impressions aren't always good, and this is just ordinary, and how it would always be. I don't know if what I'm saying makes sense at the moment, but I trust my ramblings are founded on a deep belief that all things come with the good and the bad.

We're all growing up. Even if you're forty and believe the world isn't going to change anything for you, I think there's is always something to learn everyday. I trust that in learning, we gain knowledge, experiences and perhaps, even ideas that can change the world substantially. Maybe not so drastically, but you know, a little bit goes a long way.

It is definitely inevitable to encounter another person in this journey called life. We meet so many people, it's sometimes a guilty feeling to forget someone's name.

When someone I know told me that "I felt regretful knowing that person," I wonder to myself, "Why is that so?"
I did not want to question that statement, for I know that opinions like this, especially when they're not your own and you feel inadequately learned to refute, should be left undisputed. Maybe in time, I can tell this person that there is no such thing as regret in meeting another, for you learn, with the bad portion in that time frame of knowing the person, lessons aren't always meant to be learnt the easy, good, simple way. You got to take the good with the bad. But yes, like I said, we're all growing up. It's hard to grow up when you feel like staying static in the time you're in now....

Growing up is painful, in some instances. People grow and realise that they want to be different, and not all this 'wanting to be different' derives from the fact that they want to stand out, but it can also mean they just want to...distance themselves away from you, because of influences they deem are "in". With growing up, people change, and they can no longer be your friends, for reasons unknown....

I don't think I can change the world.
I don't think that it is right for anyone to impose their beliefs onto another, especially when it is, in fact, incorrect.
I don't think that even with the passing of time, moral values alter as well.
I don't think that there is only one fish in the ocean for each of us.

Looks like I don't comparmentalise my thoughts very well, so I guess there isn't one specific topic I'm yapping on about. I'll get there, with a little more practice.

Await me next post. I'll get there. Soon.
I got a mail from Singapore yesterday. Added to the collection of foreign letters.

-end-


Wo hen si huan Tevin and Tracy.

I don't know how true the saying "You'll like some kids better than other kids, but you love them all the same" is. I just know that I'll miss these two kids.

Geez, I didn't know they were this cute.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am not counting down the days till holidays are over.
Would anyone be so kind as to suggest some productive things that I can do?

I shall drown my misery with sleep. Sigh.
Another.....6 days to go.

Exams are such *bleh* times. Strangely, you have this urge to want and go online more.....

Eeeeeeekkk!

Sat for Accounts Paper today. Easy-peasy.....Sort of. Well, if compared to the likes of Chemistry, yeah, this should be a no-problemo. (Always be a conformist when it comes to how hard a paper was. Or else, people will start calling you "Alien".)

Regarding the last post, maybe I got a little carried away, but you know, a song you like is a song you share. Bwahahhhaaa.......

Exam stress must be getting to me. Getting to me. Get to me.
Anyways, Happy Teachers' Day! [though I highly doubt any teacher reads my site]

p/s:I completely forgot that today was Teachers' Day until a lame phrase was said through the PA System this morning about teachers.
Anywho, Happy Teachers' Day again nevertheless. =)
I should start scraping the "I will never change" attitude and learn: I vow to be less and less a banana tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

I feel that learning language through music might be a little more effective than once thought because..... I was introduced to a new Chinese song today (thanks Sara and Shaun and his Nano!).

"Tong Hua" by Guang Liang

wang le you duo jiu (I've forgotten how long it has been)
zai mei ting dao ni (Since I've never again...)
dui wo shuo ni zui ai de gu shi ( listened to you telling your beloved fairytale)
wo xiang le hen jiu (I've thought for a long time)
wo kai shi huang le (I start to panic)
shi bu shi wo you zuo cuo le shen me (have I done something wrong?)

#
ni ku zhao dui wo shuo (You said to me with full of tears)
tong hua li du shi pian ren de (Inside the fairytale are all lies)
wo bu ke neng shi ni de wang zi (I can't possibly be your prince)
ye xu ni bu hui dong (Maybe you can never understand)
cong ni shuo ai wo yi hou (You said I love you ever after)
wo de tian kong xing xing dou liang le (The stars in my sky have lightened up)

*
wo yuan bian cheng tong hua li (I'm willing to be)
ni ai de na ge tian shi (The angel you live in the fairytale)
zhang kai shuang shou (Spread out my arms)
bian cheng chi bang shou hu ni (Become the wings to protect you)
ni yao xiang xin (You must believe)
xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi li (Believe that we can be like that in the fairytale)
xin fu he kuai le shi jie ju (Prosperity and happiness is the ending)

[Repeat # and *]

wo yao bian cheng tong hua li (I want to be)
ni ai de na ge tian shi (The angel you love in the fairytale)
zhang kai shuang shou (Spread out my arms)
bian cheng chi bang shou hu ni (Become the wings to protect you)
ni yao xiang xin (You must believe)
xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi li (Believe that we can be like that in the fairytale)
xin fu he kuai le shi jie ju (Prosperity and happiness is the ending)

wo hui bian cheng tong hua li (I will be)
ni ai de na ge tian shi (The angel you love in the fairytale)
zhang kai shuang shou (Spread out my arms)
bian cheng chi bang shou hu ni (Become the wings to protect you)
ni yao xiang xin (You must believe)
xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi li (Believe that we can be like that in the fairytale)
xin fu he kuai le shi jie ju (Prosperity and happiness is the ending)

yi qi xie wo men de jie ju (Let's write our ending together)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A banana is a long, curvy, yellow fruit with soft whitish flesh native to the tropical and sub-tropical nations.

A banana(informal) is a Chinese who is unable to speak the Chinese Language.

Which banana are YOU?
Better if you're neither.

As the saying goes, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks," and an old dog I feel.

Anyhow.............

There's just about two more weeks before I see an end to these exams.
Another one wrecked. Aih.
TMnet is an abomination for people like me.
The dawn of the electronic age makes me wonder : Aren't inanimate objects suppose to be emotion-less and without thought?
Sometimes I think telecommunication resents me. Soon, electrical appliances will join the list. Darn.

No matter....
I don't mind living in the Middle Ages. (Bah!)

...ting-a-ling-a-ling....

I realised two things after missing school for two days because of (get this!) a district chess competition:

1. I like being in the 'underdog' school. How haughty of others to make such conclusions of other schools.

2. Chess is an interesting game. I don't bruff you one.

Winning is a nice feeling. Winning is always a nice feeling. [Unless you won by means of lies and deceit, then you ought to feel guilty.]
Saying 'checkmate' is particularly fulfilling in some sense. Aside from winning, which is obvious, you also feel ... smart.
For one, you don't use muscle-power in chess, you use brain-power. And when you win with your brain, you sure feel smart la.
Second, for novices like me, saying checkmate is unbelievably euphoric. You feel totally clueless at first but with a 'dash of luck', yes, you win. Happy lor.

That's all for today.

*Mid-terms coming up. I'm so dead meat. For those who're sitting for exams too, you can always beat me in the race of 'who starts studying first.' Even if I were given a head start you'd still win. Hah.

:D
Didn't realise how fast time flies right past by.

I'm 16. Yay.

Thanks everybody.
*********************
Does Germae have what it takes to be an ASEAN scholar?

:-D

:-)

:-I

:-S

:-/

T-T
Dear world,

Today was just another day.

Nothing needs to be done. The one needful thing is to continue living in the present.

But I thank the world for making me a better person. And Him too.
'No,' said the little prince. 'I am looking for friends. What does "tame" mean?'

'Something that is frequently neglected,' said the fox. 'It means "to create ties".'

'To create ties?'

'Precisely,' said the fox. 'To me, you are still only a small boy, just like a hundred thousand other small boys. And I have no need of you. And you in turn have no need for me. To you, I'm just a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, the we shall be in need of each other. To me, you shall be unique in the world. To you, I shall be unique in the world.'

'I'm beginning to understand,' said the little prince. 'I know a flower... I think she must have tamed me...'

'Quite possible,' said the fox. 'On this earth one sees all manner of things.'

******************
And he went back to the fox:

'Goodbye,' he said.

'Goodbye,' said the fox. 'Now here is my secret, very simply: you can only see things clealy with your heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye.'

'What is essential is invisible to the eye,' repeated the little prince, so as to remember.

'It is the time you have wasted on your rose that makes your rose so important.'

'It is the time I have wasted on my rose...' repeated the little prince, so as to remember.

'People have forgotten this truth,' said the fox. 'But you must not forget. You become responsible, for ever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose.'

'I am responsible for my rose...' the little prince repeated, so as to remember.

*******************

But I was not reassured. I remembered the fox: you run the risk of a few tears when you allow yourself to be tamed...

~Taken from 'The Little Prince' by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
There are some things about dreams I cannot understand.

Sometimes they seem so vivid, so life-like, you just feel and know that it's real-life. The people, the mood, the times, it all seem so tangible. Very corporeal, in fact.

Dreams (I'll use this term loosely) , as we all know it, are rather easily forgotten but at that moment when it does happen, imho, can be a pretty big deception.
I've dreamt so many things, from the quirky to the downright sad and depressing. I've woken up having tears in my eyes before or feeling happy beyond reason, not realising the truth of why.

I had a dream a few days ago where I felt immense sadness because someone I know had died. In the dream, everyone around me was mourning over the death. In my heart, I wish I could turn time back so that this person didn't have to go, but no one can change the past.
In that moment, I felt like it was really, really happening and I just felt the passing as well. I was overwhelmed by it.
Finally, when morning called, I woke up and thanked God that it wasn't real.

It was just a dream. [A rather cliche ending but I'd prefer it this way anytime]

Ironically, there aren't any really joyous euphoric dreams where I wished I didn't have to wake up from, except maybe the occasional lethargy that swallows my body whole and forces me to lie supine on my bed with my eyes closed the rest of the day.
Again, only on very very rare occasions.

And then, there's the I-wish-that-this-was-all-a-dream scenario.
It doesn't involve dreams.
It involves, however, real situations where you wished it was a dream.
I remember a time when I lost my favourite pencil (note:way in my younger days) and I know that it was a dream, where I'll wake up from it and find the pencil safe in my pencil case.
Sad thing was, I pinched myself and then it struck me : You ain't asleep.
Damn. And I was distraughted at the loss of my favourite pencil.

I have a recurring dream (cum nightmare) that I think would occur at least once a month. What happens is that I would get a (seriously) real pain in my teeth and then one of it would break off and I would have a missing incisor/premolar/molar/canine from my set of teeth. I would be so freaked out and ashamed at the void in my teeth. This, I have got to say, is real and plain scary.
During the time the teeth goes missing, it never struck me that I was dreaming.
That's how real it seemed.
When I finally wake up, I would feel my teeth and check if they're all still intact.
So far, no one has taken advantage of this nightmare and broke off my teeth for real to get some miserly amount of money from the stingy tooth fairy.
I do have all 28 visible teeth.

And then there are dreams which in another meaning would be the hopes and aspirations a person longs for.
But I won't delve so much on this one because.... I'll save it for another time.



~Don't live in the world of dreams, for they are deceitful. Live in the now & real, and you will achieve the true.



The green dotted lines which cross the x axis at 90°, 270°, and likewise when x is less than zero, are called asymptotes.

Asymptotes [a straight line that continually approaches a given curve but does not meet it at any finite distance.] sound funny.
Pronounced as a-simp-toads, yeah, pretty peculiar.



Asymptote
Asymptoot
Asymp****

: P
I know I'm barely 16 and am giving you an insight of what I feel my stand on life is at the moment. Like I said, as of now, so possibly, things will change. Heck, we never stand still, so who's to say we won't change with time?

Anyways, I am just another regular student in a regular school and am doing regular things with sheer mediocrity. Maybe not so for blogging, but hey, I've got to keep up with the times now, don't I?

Let's see....
-in 6 weeks or so the Mid-Year Exams are coming up
-Trials will be somewhere in August or September
-My (dreaded and horrific) Music Exam is somewhere in July
-SPM is on November
Quite a number of events that I should be taking seriously(which I will & am) is happening all in this year. Some of which may be a big threshold in itself. God knows.

Well, what I think is this:
The reason why we're all studying hard is so that you live up to people's expectations or for some, to silence the people who underestimate you by doing more than is expected of you, which is one of the best ways to accomplish and for some, well, c'est la vie!
From the bottom of my (non-existent) heart, I do feel the surmountable pressure from some people to do so freaking well in SPM that I can just pee in my pants everytime I think of it.
Well, maybe not so much the incontinence but yes, the pressure, is real.
And I know a lot of people are feeling the same way about themselves, so I can relate.
But whatever, it's another milestone in life, and overcome it I shall. Whatever God's plans are for me, I know He has got a reason wherever it takes me (Jeremiah 29:11).

(On a very irrelevant note.) The recent drop in car prices have given me a ray of hope for owning my own nice, functional, and in-one-piece car someday, in the nearer future. Although, I wouldn't say that a 5% decrease is a lot for cars when I don't even find a 20% discount in apparels a striking deal. Bad comparison, but hey...

I think the phrase "You don't know what you've got until it's gone" is more than just true. It's SOOOOO real. I guess it's pretty inevitable, that we cherish it far too late when all along that was just the best thing to do: to appreciate.
I'm speaking for people, what (material objects) you own, the environment, the times, etc......
Like just now, during the Annual Sports Day, I realise I'll never run again. Not as in I'll be an amputee after this but I'll never be able to win a medal again, never set foot on a proper running track for a very long time or even enjoy the freaking hot sun while finding out your rumah sukan lost bad. I'm going to miss all of it. The action, the excitement, the thrill... It was all good.
And soon enough, I think I'll be saying this: "I miss my unfitting pinafore and tight baju kurung."
A thing on uniforms: I completely condone the use of uniforms in schools because in a way, it nullifies the different social standards a school community has, and that, is a good thing.
Why go through the hassle of just being plain ostentatious by the way you dress or even the trouble of thinking what to wear for tomorrow, when there is a simple uniform that is all good? Well, maybe more people will start liking the idea of uniforms if the "School Uniform Council" (If there even is one) designed better looking uniforms that is "free-sized".

The difficulty to say no to others is sometimes a pressing problem for some. I think I'm in that some. Maybe it's the fear of disappointing others, or maybe it's some innate inability to say the word no, or maybe it could just be some deep, inner desire to always be doing the yes.
And then there's the inability to say yes when doing what is required of you. It is just as bad, or not worse, simply because, it may cost you a good decision.
It's pretty lousy an attitude.

It's been a while since I last blog which was a pretty big interval of time, if anyone didn't notice. Aih.....


Again, this is all my take. You go have your own. Don't condemn me. I'm just doing my part in having the freedom of speech.

Anyways, readers, thank you for coming by. Do come again soon. : )
I'm feeling uninspired, hence the scarce entries these past week and the week before that.

Tell me something I don't know, or make me feel... better, inspired.
I feel so relieved.

Just a couple of hours ago was my Theory of Music Exam.

Just a while ago, I was still in Grade 8.
Come to think about it, I'm still in Grade 8, lest I pass it which I would only find out in.... another 7 months, max.

I'm sitting down now, in front of the computer, waiting for my internet connection to stable down while I write on endlessly, appreciating every moment that I can stay online.

I feel liberated after the exam.

For 9 long years, I have strived to do well enough.
Thank goodness my efforts paid off for the last 8 years.
I hope it pays off again this year.

In retrospect, I have learned so much.
Come to think about it, I think I'm qualified enough to give my own classes.
(e-mail me at : germae_p@yahoo.com if interested.)

But, what does this all mean? I have more reasons to doubt that I'd be a music teacher for a life-long career than a sheep has wool.
So what? You ask me, so what?
I don't know, I guess it's just one of those things you do for the mere satisfaction of (which in this case, isn't, but rather siblinghood obligations), whether or not you mean to do much about it later.

By the way....
Did you know that Tchaikovsky was a homosexual? (His last composition was like a death song)
That Brahms had huge hands? (He uses huge intervals that are played simultaneously in his writings.)

I miss my class already.
I hope that my friends and I do well. And another, this time round.
BIO LAB, Sun. - A group of 34 students dissected frogs in one of the two biology laboratories here as part of the syllabus (not!!) two days ago. The objective of this mass murder experiment is for the students' own sick pleasure purpoted learning of the internals of a frog.

Students were split into groups of three or four, and a one special case of 7.

Prior to any incisions made, frogs were fainted with chloroform by the lab assistant who barely had enough air to breathe with the presence of psyched students in a confined area. Terrified screams were heard across the block due to horrified students (and yes, that includes boys)who were afraid of the hopping, resilient frogs with the will to escape whilst being choked with chloroform.
One of the frogs died before it had been dissected. (Hence, the 7 people-in-one-group issue)

Suicide, or accidental overdose?

Groups put on off-white lab coats plus surgical gloves and waited for their frogs to faint, before beginning the dissection. Procedure is as follows :
1) Lay fainted frog on back
2) Pin 2 inch-long needles into palms and feet of frog onto dissection tray (breaking of bones must be heard)
3) Keep a cotton wool dipped with chloroform next to dissection tray (just in case, you know?)
4) Use dissection kit to cut open skin of frog
5) Pin skin down
6) Cut open the inner layer of tissue/fats
7) Open, open and open. Seperate, seperate and seperate.
8) Squirm, discover and vomit end of experiment.
9) Dispose frog into plastic bag

In order to euthanize the frog (too late, too wrong now, ain't it?), the hearts were disconnected while it was still beating.
All in all, mixed emotions of gore, delight and sheer terror were noted among the classmates.
Aspiring doctors, this day made them or broke them.

And now.....



Viewers discretion advised





The biggest frog of the day being suffocated with chloroform in its aquarium. It took some time.

Same frog, looking out at the huddled group of classmates, probably hoping for mercy and sympathy. Wrong!

Dissection kits and dissection trays, before being distributed. Earlier on when blood had not been shed.

The biggest frog of the day fainted in its aquarium. The beginning of its end.

Inserting needles into palms and feet of frog. To think people actually eat them.

One of the frogs with its outer skin already wide open. Taxing and sweaty work, it is.

Making more incisions while magnifying it to get a more lucid view of the now nearly-open frog.

Very much closer to get a more in depth look of a frog's insides. Note the gruesome redness of it.

If looked at closely, one lung has been inflated while the stomach can be clearly seen. Fats shoved aside.

The reddest-ballooney thing is the inflated lung. The greenish-blackish dots above it are eggs (ovaries, denoting a female). Beside of the lung is the liver. At closer range the intestines and stomach can be seen.


###########

On a personal note....

You may laugh at this but I cringed at the sight of live frogs sitting patiently to die in the aquarium. It was made worse when I had to buy it and keep it and then bring it to school.
Corrrection, it was not an it. It was a them. I bought two, one for my group and another for a fellow group. Whatever it is, it is so not a pet I'd keep.

If it means anything, I never wanted to be a doctor. If that was good an excuse enough to get me to not dissect frogs, I would use it. But NO!

You know what the saddest part was? If you know exactly what it means to "have the utmost will to survive", then you'll understand exactly what I'm going to say.
Some of the frogs, after being fainted with supposedly enough chloroform, while on the dissecting tray, WOKE UP. Yes, WOKE UP.

And it wasn't just once.

It was more than that!

Isn't it damningly painful, like beyond excruciating to have your chest ripped open by people who are going to throw you away anyways? I can't imagine it myself.
Struggling to free itself....That was such a sad sight.....

You should have seen the way the frog was struggling to break free from the needles that held it to the tray. It was moving up, down, side, up, down.

Oh God, is this a sin?

To see needles pierce through the palms and feet of the frog was reminiscent of Jesus' crucifixion. Although very, very much different, it had a stark resemblance.
The way the bones !cracked! at the pressure of the needles penetrating its palms.
The way it was half-living and at the mercy of the people.
But yeah, its a frog. Way different.

I will never dissect a frog ever again. I don't think I'll eat frog in my life from now on.

**********************
You have come this far. Hope you didn't miss anything out.
Try dissecting a frog next time. You'll see what I mean.

*In loving memory of our frogs Nicky and Dicky.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day for you oblivious people. 'Brace' yourselves.

Wish me luck too. (No, no lovey-dovey reasons whatsoever at all, hmph hmph hmph. But then I don't believe in luck again...hmmmmmmm.)

I 'heart' you.
Valentine's Day is coming up.

It doesn't mark a special day in my calendar. People romanticise the whole idea of Valentine's Day.
I don't blame them. It's a free, democratic country. You can do whatever, whenever, to whoever you want, as long as it doesn't breach human rights or the laws of the state.

In the case of St. Valentine's Day, well, it really wouldn't hurt anyone.
Except maybe the wallets of the partners of high-maintenance people.

Valentine's Day, to put in simple words, imho, is the day for expressing love in the form of giving gifts due to over-commercialization of opportunists around the globe.

Again, it's a free country.
Why is this day special? Can't you express your love on Feb 15th? Or March the 2nd? December the 18th? (Or April the 20th? Weehee..)
Well, there's always a day to mark everything. A birthday falls specifically once a year. You don't go celebrating it the whole year round. That would simply make birthdays meaningless.

Like World AIDS day, for example. It's not like we forget about the whole community of AIDS patients the rest of the 364 odd days. We just take a time out and make their suffering known in order to remind global occupants that AIDS isn't something to be taken about lightly. AIDS is a deadly virus, and is much, much worse than anyone can imagine, especially if you're not a sufferer. Therefore, a day is very much required to remind the world that AIDS is a pandemic affecting anyone of any race and creed. (World AIDS day falls on December the 1st every year, fyi.)

Back to Valentine's, well, I'm happy for those who do get something. And no, I have no need for envy, I don't want roses. They look beautiful at first, but later they wither and die, and to think 99 of them mark "I will love you forever"? But it is definitely a sweet gesture on the giver's part.
At the end of the day, it's the thought that counts, so whatever you give, if it imparts a message worth remembering the rest of your life, so be it.

For years and years and years (note: I'm exaggerating the number of years), I've seen people received stuff right before my eyes, and somehow, inadvertantly, this very same people forget that not everyone would receive the same thing, none at all even.
I do have one thing to admit : it IS nice to see what other people get, and how their reactions are to it when it is a surprise.

On the other hand, I have this one other thing to say:
The much said phrase "I love you" is over-used and under-appreciated. It's really disheartening to see people always saying it but then end up like they never meant it at all (divorce, seperation, etc.)

#######

I was reading the NST and came across the article which rave on about singledom and how the number of singles in Malaysia are on the increase. They must have printed this article since Valentine's Day is around the corner. Duh.
Are they saying that being married is better than staying single? Isn't marriage a person's choice to make and not what you can change their minds about? Are they also implying that being single is like an ailment that needs a remedy?
(Whoa, debating influences I might say...)

I thought of mentioning this since it kind of relates to the Valentine's-I-love-you-so-let's-get-married kind of thing. Nevermind, that was so out of the question.
I just want you to do me a favour. If 15 years down the road, you see me (or even remember me for that matter), and I'm still single, remind yourself that it is O-K-A-Y and that singledom is NOT wrong or morally-unacceptable. Maybe I might have joined the nunnery then (hmmmm.....)

Here's to everyone out there, informally, I love you.

Happy Valentine's Day.

1 Corinthians 13

Love
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have no love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."


Still a whopping 50kg. (wahahahhahaha......)

I'm beat. I want to sleep forever. Eat forever would be cool too.

It's one of those days again where everything seems to WANT to annoy you.

: (
It is time again.
The time when eating is an every-hour/minute kind of thing, when putting on weight seems incumbent and loose pants would be an added advantage.

Happy Chinese New Year everybody.


Have a lokam on me. : P

##################

Weight is a sensitive topic.

To some, it takes the same platform as Malaysia's religion/racial issues and deep dark family secrets.

If that is the case, how lah to enjoy Chinese New Year?

It's just as bad as asking a woman her age. Which I won't understand as yet until I'm, what, 40?
I wouldn't know. Yet.

So...

Topic withstanding, also setting aside my hypocrisy, I'm going to make a(n) (un)scrupulous declaration :

I weigh 50 kgs. (No joke. I know, I look heavier than that, don't I?)

My prediction for after Chinese New Year :

I'll weigh 52+++++ kgs.

I'll update later when the dust on the weighing scale is brushed away.

-to be continued-











YAY! I've SOOO been tagged.
And out of all the people it's Sara.
To think they'd spare your lives a little.
Hyuk hyuk.

Since I'm feeling very benign and cordial(a.k.a. loss for words) at the moment, I'm taking tags as a light matter.

The rules/procedures are as follows:
The first player of this game starts with the topic "five weird habits of yourself," and the people who gets tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don't forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says "You are tagged" (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.

*MY rules/procedures are as follows:
The first player of this game starts with the topic "five weird habits of yourself," and the people who gets tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly(if they feel like it). In the end, you need to choose the next five one or more people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don't forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says "You are tagged" (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.
*Subjected to blogger's own discretion. Violating tags may or may not result in the loss of blogging rights, according to Section 148346715-Blog Laws.:Temporarily unavailable due to further amendments.

Proceed at your own risk...
Mm hmm.


  1. When jogging, I take a good look at passers-by's shoes. Then only do I look up at their faces and smile.
  2. I do mathematical sums in my head of the number plates I see ahead of me when riding in a car.
  3. I skip every other stair almost everytime walking/running up/down a staircase.
  4. Synchronising my handphone's and watch's times.
  5. Never wearing my sneakers properly until I'm in the car.

Grudgingly, I tag:
1) Jill
2) Mary-r
3) khengswee+
4) Paul
5) Aaron
6) Adeline (??!?!) (Just joking. Would like to see you do it though.)

Cheers!! *klink*
It has been three weeks since the start of the school term.

I'm sure fellow high-schoolers can reaffirm this statement. [Just in case I did go out of mind.]

I'm in my last year already. Next year, it'll be.....
Oh my, I don't know.

If you're not one of them who are unsure about what's next and are unfortunate enough to be bombarded with the very same question of "So what you want to do after Form 5 ah?" everytime someone you meet remembers or knows what form you are currently in, then well, you're lucky.

That would make me....unlucky.

That is IF you believe in luck.

Right now, I'm not sure what I want, but I can say I've deduced it to three different paths:


  1. Strive for a scholarship and make sure chances side me for the ultimate ones. Then hopefully I think of something I would like to pursue by then and get on with it. Live happily ever after. Period.
  2. Go MDF (Mummy-Daddy-Funds), find something that wouldn't burn a hole in MDF, mediocrity NOT omitted, get a job and live happily ever after also.
  3. Be a drug pusher and visit the streets of Chow Kit on the daily, or join the extortionists and force your way sinfully at the expense of honest-abes for a descipable monthly income, or become a dreaded loan shark. Probably get locked up in jail for the rest of my midlife. Or live a regretful existence till the day I die (which is presumably shorter than path#1 and path#2)


Shallow thoughts.

But it did sort of put things into perspective. Pfft.

I am petrified at the thought of everything. Is it WRONG to think about the future?
I'm sure it isn't.

####################################################

Dog's Eyes

I hopped into the car
Just like another ride
Where without my leash
I sat by Master's side

I loved these trips
Where I didn't have a clue
About where we are headed
Because it was so out of the blue

It was usually the afternoons
When Master took me out
And one where in a car
Is another surprise route

And then we came to a halt
A place different from my own
It looked very familiar
But one I really haven't known

Master put the faithful leash on
And we walked together with bliss
Until we got close enough
When I knew something was amiss

In there I saw dozens of others
Just like me, but many many more
All huddled so crammedly together
In what I thought only fits four

I stared blankly at the cacophony
Thinking to myself "What am I doing here?"
And then suddenly I remembered
Just when it seemed a bit unclear

Memories came rushing back
Of when I was a young pup
It was here where I was taken from
The first time I ever made a huge gulp

Right then I realised
That this was no ordinary visit
For it will be my last one
In just a little bit

I ran back to the entrance
And straight to Master's Ford
I knew this was the only way
And I gave it all I've got

But my efforts went to vain
For this was not Master's will
I couldn't be disobedient
For I love him still

A woman held me back with all her might
While I barked at Master incessantly
Seeing the water in his eyes
I knew he didn't mean for this entirely

I vaguely heard him say
That he'd be shifting to a place far, far away
Where canines were a no-no
Not even me, his good ol' Bobo

I tried to run toward his distant car
But I couldn't; I was held onto
Slowly, slowly, the dot disappeared
Into oblivion, forever.








This was posted almost a year ago.

NOW

Mr. Wong has left the building. He is officially no longer my Physics teacher. And also no longer a teacher in the school.
Apparently he got fired, but that's absurd. No one gets fired from the government board especially if you're a common teacher in a government school. The most probable reason why you'd be sent away is because you got another offer elsewhere, whether still with the government or not.
And if I got fired, I don't think I'd be hanging around and having a chat with those of higher authority in school (especially since they're the ones with substantially more power to sack than anyone else).

He is a nice man. He ought to be a Moral/History teacher.

I might see him around if I ever went to Alamanda Putrajaya. (?)

I guess I'll miss him. Just like anyone who leaves.
an empty vesselThis is not a brand new Pyrex beaker.
This is a form of expression through Paint.
I don't know why but I had to draw it somehow.

Maybe it looks like a bunch of random lines forming an unidentifiable receptacle of some sort to you.
Well, it sort of does look like that. But it's not, ok?
I took less than 5 minutes. What you expect right?

I feel just like it. Maybe not as brand new, just partly. Empty, yes.
I'm wallowing in self-pity.
I'm sorry.
(Moving on to 2006, I must come to my senses and tell myself this isn't time for blogging frequently anymore. Not that I really was. )

One week into 2006 & school (@Form 5) and realised....
-one year was a breeze
-I'm overwhelmed
-I despise new years
-I'm obstinate

I'm waiting for something good to happen because that's all I can look forward to. Anything. I don't know what to expect, so anything that seems good will do good.
Ok, I'm not level-headed now.