I don't know why but everytime I see a magic trick, instead of being fascinated and amazed, I get frustrated because the analytical side of my depleting brain asks for answers to a question that it has just seen, which is the magic trick itself.
And I think many other people feel the same way too.
When I get the chance to see how to reveal the magic as a smart illusion, I get excited.

Anyway, here's a video which is about 1 and a half minutes long. It's my man, Sebby the magician doing a card trick. He's pretty darn good. keep a lookout on the other hand, it could be the answer to the trick.

Long ago, in Japan, there lived an old couple who had a dog called Shiro.

The old man and woman were poor and they lived a simple life. All they wanted was enough money to buy rice for themselves and Shiro. But year by year their savings grew smaller. They worried that soon there would be no money for rice.

One day the old man and woman were working hard in their garden. Shiro ran here and there, sniffing the ground. Suddenly he started digging a hole and barking loudly.

"Be quiet, Shiro," said the old woman.

But shiro kept barking and digging, so the old man went to see what the dog had found. He poked a stick into the hole and felt it strike something hard. He dug further and uncovered a small box. When the old man opened the box he was amazed to see it was full of golden coins - enough to buy rice for the rest of the year!

But their greedy neighbour heard of this good fortune and he was jealous. He followed Shiro, digging holes wherever the dog sniffed, but he found nothing. Finally the neighbour flew into a rage and killed poor Shiro.

The old couple cried when they learned that Shiro was dead, for they loved the old dog dearly.

Then one night, the ghost of Shiro appeared to them.
"You loved and cared for me," said Shiro's ghost, "and now I shall care for you.
Tomorrow, cut down the pine tree in the garden. Mix some splinters from the tree into a pot of rice." Then the ghost vanished.

The next day the old man chopped down the pine tree and the old woman cooked a pot of rice. She stirred in the splinters and peerted into the pot.
"Look," she cried, her eyes filled with wonder. "Each grain of rice is turning into a golden coin! We shall have money for rice for the rest of our lives!"

The old couple smiled sadly as they thought of Shiro. Even though he had died, their faithful old dog had not forgotten them.
For the past few weeks, I've thought about my life, of past achievements, regrets and the future.
Along with that, I also thought that it would do me no harm to list the things I cannot change:
  • Be a guy
  • Grow another 4 inches
  • Be an athlete
  • Have broad shoulders
  • Be a child prodigy

3 out of 5 has to do with genetics and the environment. The other two is somewhat correlated, but I leave that to your personal discretions.

In my point of view, this world is divided into two :- Men and Women (with no in-betweens). They co-exist on a basis of symbiotic relations, which to me, is what makes the world go round (and populated).
I'm not saying I have minimal tolerance for homosexuality or the fact that I do not believe they were just born that way, but I really think that it's a matter of choice that sadly puts gender at an ambiguity. (Ambiguity is not favourable in this respect)
So, I am a girl/woman/female. And as the saying goes that the grass is greener on the other side, I thought maybe being a guy isn't half as bad as I like to say it is (namely, because boys are stupid).
Monthly episodes of you-know-what, ever-changing fashion that girls seem to compete with each other by covering less and less of their skin, sensitive weight issues and a constant fetish of how they look is to me, the banes of being a female.
If I could spend one day in a guys shoes (no, not the idea of tranvestism, but completely MAN), I'd give it a shot and see how things goes.
But it just CANNOT happen.

People tend to tease/mock the short but praise the tall. My father told me that in his days, anyone of his peers who is shorter than average would be teased "Jepun-kia, Jepun-kia"(which means 'Japanese kid' in Hokkien). I don't know if the average Japanese is actually shorter than us Malaysians or whether their past Occupation in Malaya was the cause for this ridicule, but it's pretty degrading to me.
So, I guess it's safe to say being tall is better than being short, in more ways than one (though I'm not completely denying the fact that being short does come with some good as well).
If I could grow to be another 4 inches taller (which would put me the tallest girl in my class, not to mention), I would join the ranks of the smaller population of Malaysian women above the height of 5' 7". I don't know why I want to be taller, would it really make me happier? Maybe I could try out modelling or something then, but I'd have to watch what I eat and all and it's very frustrating.
But it just CANNOT happen.

I always wanted to feel healthy and I think an athlete is a show of healthiness, a tough, well-crafted physique for the purpose of sports. Everytime someone mentions athlete, the first thing that comes to mind is invariably the track athlete, sprinter, high jumper or long jumper. In life, there are some things that are never too late to pick up, but in this case, I'm too old to start a sport and get REALLY good at it. But I think this is one that CAN actually happen, if I give it time and endurance. Which somehow seems like it CANNOT happen either.

Oh, I think in my family, broadness are not in the 'shoulders' alleles. Ahah.
So this CANNOT happen.

I could be prodigy, just not a child one. Heh. But no one gives anyone credit for being smart when you're an adult because the sky's the limit once you're above a certain 'childish' age.
But even at this age, prodigy is far from what I'm ever going to come close to, co scratch that from the doable because it just CANNOT happen.

Even so, I'm satisfied with where I am in life, although I do get the occasional desires of wanting something more, something I cannot get, which makes the bitter bits in life, real. And at times, more real than I can handle.

You don't need a million miles
To be far away
All you really need
Is a sense of loneliness
Of a hope for belonging
Whether it's just me, the weather, or possibly the lousy internet connection I get wherever I access the Internet, blogging is just a hassle.

It's been a week since college now and things are going accordingly, whatever accordingly means. The usual 'arghs' and 'huhs' in class is definitely not a good way to start college but I guess it's really about adjusting and getting the hell on with it.
College is not as hyped up as I thought it would be. Not that it matters anyway, life's like that.

Life gives you false hopes, but at the same time, it can give you some of the most vivid memories you'll ever have in your life.