Compared to the regularity of my posts 2 years back, I think I've been posting modestly sparing(if these two words mean anything together). I don't think what I write is being anticipated as much as it might have did(or did it?).

Apart from that, I think I've been writing less lengthily as I used to, in the ancients. I don't know if I even have a point as to why I write any longer.

I have come to understand that words are very delicate things. In its subtlety, a meaning can be altered, manipulated, misunderstood. From reading books, one must understand a sentence clearly, especially for books where the expression of the author is expressed in a manner foreign to colloquialism. A way in which, a word carries not just one, but many meanings.

In speech, words are easily played with as well. As such, not paying attention to minor words could mean a loss of rights/fortunes/etc.. For another, there are many expressions to a word, so plenty that, it easily causes misunderstanding.

Therefore, I have began to think twice about what I say, two times more than what I used to do. To think before I mutter, for fear that those words could hurt, could be misread, or could mislead. But then, thinking twice takes a lot of time. Time that is spent analyzing, perfecting, sometimes in redundancy.

Even by doing so, I don't express myself well. Even if I do take the time to make sure what I say comes out as right as I can make it, I never think it does come out quite well.
Hence, I think it is best to just keep it under wraps, for what I think I want to say, for now.

I think I'm being rather vague in these lines. This is because I tend to be a private person. It is difficult for me to get close to someone if I took the initiative. That is why it seems easier for me to say I rather do things alone than with someone. Though I say that my fear is to end up lonely in the future, I guess being alone isn't too difficult now.

If people prompted me, I can answer them. But as for me, I can't just strike something out of the blue for you. It ain't easy anymore. I lost a part of me in the past, because people change every now and then. I'm somebody different from yesterday, years ago.

I think I mentioned previously somewhere that I'll explain some things. I feel I've forgotten what they were. Anyways, although I think I sound vague, there's really nothing in my life that's happening right now which is getting me to sound so... emotional perhaps? I think I just sound like this after reading Kazuo Ishiguro. Speak of being easily-influenced. Like I said, I do not express myself well.

I these words, I cannot reveal a lot of my thoughts. I think I'm afraid of the truth, the responsibility. It takes a trustworthy person to make me speak my mind. And I have yet to find many of them.

Bored and unstimulated, Germae.
If there's something to look forward to, life wouldn't be so boring.

Take, for example, if you have a hobby of collecting stamps, and you're one serious, ardent collector, you'll probably go all out to get that limited edition floral fest stamps that cost 100% more than its face value. And when the next big thing comes, you're awaiting it, excited.

Or perhaps your hobby/passion is something like... cooking. That's great, 'cos you could hit it off as a chef/celebrated family cook one day.

Maybe you enjoy knitting/designing/etc. It's all good, as long as there's something to look forward to at the end of the day.

I say this because, I realised, by far, I have nothing that I look forward to at the end of the day that requires effort, a love for, and certainly time put into it. Nothing along the lines of sleeping, net surfing, watching movies, etc. etc. is counted. Hell, NO! There's no financial expenditure/feasibility in there, nor is there any productivity going on.

I envy those who have something really going on for them. A perk from daily routine. Something that becomes so much a part of themselves, they can't imagine not doing it. I know of some people like that.

Good for them. Really. Looking forward to something makes life interesting.

"The possibility of having a dream come true makes life worth the living"

It's back in college and I'm starting to realise I didn't see what was coming my way entirely when I accepted the scholarship. Be it the who or what that is involved, it's hard to adjust. Sometimes I just want to blame everyone else but me. Sometimes, I wonder why blame at all, there's nothing to it, you know.

And at times, I just want to sleep and wish it all away.

Wishful thinking (or dreaming) is what it is.

Who doesn't want a better life than they have now, deep down in the deepest regions of their hearts?

I honestly think I have a point.

Signing off, Germae.
The big eight is here, and it's not the age count. It's 2008 people!

I'm turning 18 this year, WoooOOOooHooOOOooo!

Anyways, although I think 2008 took off not with a bang or a blast, it sure did start better than I could ask for.

First, I finally got my driver's license, though I doubt I'll be touching the wheel anytime soon.

Can you believe it? (Well, you're excused if you don't know who they are or you simply aren't a fan)

With regards to this post, I obviously am I dying to go. Seriously.

My question is, do YOU want to go with me? I'd rather share the experience and not alone.

If you are, please do contact me. Details:-

Date/Time: 2nd February 2008, 6:30 p.m.

Venue : Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre - Hall 4

Tickets : RM123

Well, I think that's about it for the beginning of the year. Heh. I love Switchfoot!!!!!!!!!!!