Compared to the regularity of my posts 2 years back, I think I've been posting modestly sparing(if these two words mean anything together). I don't think what I write is being anticipated as much as it might have did(or did it?).

Apart from that, I think I've been writing less lengthily as I used to, in the ancients. I don't know if I even have a point as to why I write any longer.

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I have come to understand that words are very delicate things. In its subtlety, a meaning can be altered, manipulated, misunderstood. From reading books, one must understand a sentence clearly, especially for books where the expression of the author is expressed in a manner foreign to colloquialism. A way in which, a word carries not just one, but many meanings.

In speech, words are easily played with as well. As such, not paying attention to minor words could mean a loss of rights/fortunes/etc.. For another, there are many expressions to a word, so plenty that, it easily causes misunderstanding.

Therefore, I have began to think twice about what I say, two times more than what I used to do. To think before I mutter, for fear that those words could hurt, could be misread, or could mislead. But then, thinking twice takes a lot of time. Time that is spent analyzing, perfecting, sometimes in redundancy.

Even by doing so, I don't express myself well. Even if I do take the time to make sure what I say comes out as right as I can make it, I never think it does come out quite well.
Hence, I think it is best to just keep it under wraps, for what I think I want to say, for now.

I think I'm being rather vague in these lines. This is because I tend to be a private person. It is difficult for me to get close to someone if I took the initiative. That is why it seems easier for me to say I rather do things alone than with someone. Though I say that my fear is to end up lonely in the future, I guess being alone isn't too difficult now.

If people prompted me, I can answer them. But as for me, I can't just strike something out of the blue for you. It ain't easy anymore. I lost a part of me in the past, because people change every now and then. I'm somebody different from yesterday, years ago.

I think I mentioned previously somewhere that I'll explain some things. I feel I've forgotten what they were. Anyways, although I think I sound vague, there's really nothing in my life that's happening right now which is getting me to sound so... emotional perhaps? I think I just sound like this after reading Kazuo Ishiguro. Speak of being easily-influenced. Like I said, I do not express myself well.

I these words, I cannot reveal a lot of my thoughts. I think I'm afraid of the truth, the responsibility. It takes a trustworthy person to make me speak my mind. And I have yet to find many of them.

Bored and unstimulated, Germae.
If there's something to look forward to, life wouldn't be so boring.

Take, for example, if you have a hobby of collecting stamps, and you're one serious, ardent collector, you'll probably go all out to get that limited edition floral fest stamps that cost 100% more than its face value. And when the next big thing comes, you're awaiting it, excited.

Or perhaps your hobby/passion is something like... cooking. That's great, 'cos you could hit it off as a chef/celebrated family cook one day.

Maybe you enjoy knitting/designing/etc. It's all good, as long as there's something to look forward to at the end of the day.

I say this because, I realised, by far, I have nothing that I look forward to at the end of the day that requires effort, a love for, and certainly time put into it. Nothing along the lines of sleeping, net surfing, watching movies, etc. etc. is counted. Hell, NO! There's no financial expenditure/feasibility in there, nor is there any productivity going on.

I envy those who have something really going on for them. A perk from daily routine. Something that becomes so much a part of themselves, they can't imagine not doing it. I know of some people like that.

Good for them. Really. Looking forward to something makes life interesting.

"The possibility of having a dream come true makes life worth the living"

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It's back in college and I'm starting to realise I didn't see what was coming my way entirely when I accepted the scholarship. Be it the who or what that is involved, it's hard to adjust. Sometimes I just want to blame everyone else but me. Sometimes, I wonder why blame at all, there's nothing to it, you know.

And at times, I just want to sleep and wish it all away.

Wishful thinking (or dreaming) is what it is.

Who doesn't want a better life than they have now, deep down in the deepest regions of their hearts?


I honestly think I have a point.

Signing off, Germae.
The big eight is here, and it's not the age count. It's 2008 people!

I'm turning 18 this year, WoooOOOooHooOOOooo!

Anyways, although I think 2008 took off not with a bang or a blast, it sure did start better than I could ask for.

First, I finally got my driver's license, though I doubt I'll be touching the wheel anytime soon.

Second, SWITCHFOOT IS COMING TO MALAYSIA!!!!!
Can you believe it? (Well, you're excused if you don't know who they are or you simply aren't a fan)

With regards to this post, I obviously am I dying to go. Seriously.

My question is, do YOU want to go with me? I'd rather share the experience and not alone.





If you are, please do contact me. Details:-





Date/Time: 2nd February 2008, 6:30 p.m.




Venue : Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre - Hall 4




Tickets : RM123



SWITCHFOOT LIVE IN MALAYSIA
Well, I think that's about it for the beginning of the year. Heh. I love Switchfoot!!!!!!!!!!!