If you know me well enough, I would have mentioned somewhere in the million conversations I've had with people that I don't normally listen to female singers (just a few and far between). I'm a all-man kinda girl (which explains why I'm straight LOL)
Call this chance (or destiny) but I am a big fan of Valerie Poxleitner a.k.a Lights, a Canadian artiste.
I don't think she would be known as mainstream (mostly because I did not hear of her through mainstream radio) but the one song that caught my attention (because I downloaded it by fluke) was "The Last Thing on Your Mind."
And then I looked for more of her.
Well, if you hear this song, and you like it, you're probably like me. She's something different, as she describes her type of music as 'Intergalactic', 'Electro-Pop'.
This type of music is something novel to me, or maybe I've heard them before but never really liked it, but times have changed and I think she nails this genre well and good.

The easiest part of writing to me is writing the middle bits. The title, beginning and ending seem to be the hardest parts.

After returning home nearly two weeks ago, I think I now see why I call this place home.
I did ponder during the last 2-3 months about staying in Sydney for a bit after graduation, quite possibly for more than 2 years if the circumstances permit.
But if things change, and I end up staying there for good, then I may as well say it now that everything changes with time. Because the truth is, everything to me is uncertain, and being me, the kind who sees things now as they are now without an in-depth thought about the future, I guess it's safe to say that it's all just a matter of time before they reveal themselves.
This all kinda boils down to the matter of money and opportunity.
Staying in Sydney means finding a job in Sydney (or elsewhere in Australia, who knows), which means earning income in Australian dollars, which means earning more than in Malaysia, which in turn means greater financial security which means...good stuff!
if I manage to find a job as an engineer in Australia, it means I can gather experience there, which means I get some leverage when I come back and work wherever I work, which is double good stuff.
But this is all hypothetically speaking, of course.
Mum even did mention that I could try for a PR if all goes well.

But who knows, who knows.
I'm just going to find enriching things to do these holidays. As it is I'm procrastinating already.

"We are all full of stars.

Bright ones, dim ones, near ones, far ones.

Some of us are so full of stars that we can't choose.

And so we just gaze up in awe,

afraid to pluck one from that infinite sky in our minds

to keep the rest from fading and turning to dust."
He looks left.
She looks right.
But you..
You're right behind them.

To his eyes, you're on his left.
To her eyes, you're on her right.
But to you..
they're both right in front.

He doesn't face her, and neither does she.
But you...
You face both their backs.

He can't see her.
He won't see her.

She can't see him.
She won't see him.

But you..
You wished they could just see eye to eye.

It's tiring, isn't it?
To want to see in both their eyes.
To want to understand both their stories.
But we are human after all.
It pains to want fairness, when all that surrounds at times is just the opposite.

Okay, so the whole sidebar issue thing wasn't exactly fixed since I renovated this blog's template with this new one (credits at the foot of the page) and well, I just started from scratch all over again.

So well, looks like there's only a week left before I go back to sunny Malaysia and there's still much time left in Sydney.

I have a feeling that my official final exam results will be out just as I reach Malaysia, because as it stands now I already have my provisional maths result, and as for my favourite subject Computing *grins* I scored massive for the programming parts. (Hurrah to tutor)

And just because I've got a new template up and running, here's a picture for the road:

credits to the one one drew it which I took from deviantArt
Isn't it lovely?

I was tweaking around with my blog template and then somehow or rather I couldn't revert to it's original settings, and so the sidebar has been altered.
I'll get this fix someday.
Yes, I is done with first year. That is of course if I passes all my exams.

I is very happy. I can't wait to go home. I hopes that next year I will have wonderful tutors who would be the reason I can't stop smiling every time during tutorials spark my interest in the subject.

I am a Naruto fan.

This anime rocks.

I sound so convincing.

No, seriously, I dig it.

I just haven't gotten to the 'even better' parts.

Can't wait.


My enthusiasm is masked by my 'nerding' for the Computing paper this Wednesday.
The Kite Runner.

Thinking about the story made me tear up. I can't wait to ditch these massive thick books for that and others.

See you back home in a few more weeks.
Wouldn't it be nice to document your life with a drama series?

You bet it is!

(Don't take The Hills and Laguna Beach seriously, that's all bullshit).

I believe God has blessed our lives to be something more than the everyday mundane stuff we deem it to be full of on some days of our lives.

Yes, life is sometimes a bitch, a bore, super-unfair but really there is always something more.
We are all in search of something elusive, for meaning, for purpose, but until we find it, that's what makes life all the more interesting and worth the living.
Good luck to us all.
Thank you Najwa (sengal). You have taught me well.

Viewed this way, delight is intrinsic to life: it is the joy of life promised to every one of us irrespective of the environment we live in. Viewed this way, delightful architecture is about the joy of life. Naturally, most of us find more intense delight in the simple necessities of life after a period of deprivation: to feel delight in quenching our thirst we will have to be really thirsty first.
To rejoice in the purity of fresh water every time we drink it, to rejoice in the birth of every new day, in the majesty of every tree, in the colour of every flower, in the company of every friend, in the mystery of every star, in the warmth of every hearth, in the peace of every night would not only require keen awareness, but also an exceptional disposition of our soul, ‐ a rare gift.
To imbibe consciously the beauty of the world. Some of us may still recall the intense delights and joys of our childhood when the untrammelled purity of our intellect perceived ever so vividly the wonders surrounding us, gradually giving way, as we grew up, to a matter‐of‐fact insensitivity amidst pressing and exclusive preoccupations to cope with our imagined destiny. To recapture those elusive marvels we would need to be jolted out from our complacent apathy, from the monotony of listless days, we would need to be reminded again and again that life is miraculous and the world magical.
which means there is much time in my hands to talk about everything I want.

Feet on footstool, rested nicely on a very comfy couch, with my laptop on my, well, lap, thus I begin.

Week 13 begins tomorrow and exams start on Friday next week.
in that order.

Let's do a pre-end-of-semester recap just because I feel like talking about it.

I think Semester 2 2009 was a much better semester than Semester 1 was, maybe mostly because of the fact that I just couldn't get settled in the whole adjusting to uni life thing earlier on.
ENGG1000 was a big bad bitch of a course, I'm sorry but if I had to criticise it all over again I would, but thank God that's over and done with. But it was a bitchy course. Bitch.
Computing... HAH I hated it so damn much but thank goodness I passed the final exam (with a distinction OMG *faints*), which kinda motivated me to keep positive about the follow up computing course I had to do this semester (which had its own motivation when I turned up first week of tutorial ;) ).
Yes, Semester 1 was just... not a good place for me.
If you gave me a million dollars and asked to put me in that situation again, I'd slap you in the face and shout "What the hell's wrong with you" and walk away.
To that extent, yes, I can tell you I hated it.
I can still remember clearly how I would go to bed early because I just didn't want to stay awake feeling all stressed out.
I was getting way too much sleep then, but sometimes too much is never enough, and I know what that felt like.
Stress is a very very bad thing. *nods*

I'm in a much better place now, I totally dig where I live now, I don't feel lonely, and I don't actually have to talk to myself anymore because someone is (almost!) always around to entertain my crazy schemes and talk on silly things I did/experienced in Uni.
I have to say thanks to baybeh for reassuring me the whole time last semester and to the new housemates, you girls are just great.
Do take me seriously on this. Cos I ain't repeating myself :P

Now, back to the pre-end-of-semester recap, well, let's just say that I either got the hang of it(Semester 2 that is) or everything decided to make things easier for me, either way, I kept a positive outlook for at least 80% of the time, which is good.
Thank you God so very much.

Before I delve into the inner workings of each subject I'm taking this semester, let me just 'warn' you that Engineering is not altogether a very interesting subject for those who don't actually take a great interest in it (like yous truly for example) but maybe just a tiny bit, which I hope grows in time.

ELEC1111 - We learn about well, electrical circuits, AC DC Inductors Capacitors Time constants Digital Logic etc etc but it's good because Ted Spooner is so sarcastic and grumpy it's entertaining. And he's a good lecturer I reckon. I think I'm doing pretty okay in this subject :D
"I know it's a Friday afternoon but if you all don't settle down then I won't start this lecture."(He says this every Friday)
"If you're going to make noise at the back I'd invite you to go get yourself a cup of coffee."
I think this subject is easier compared to

PHYS1231 - Well, Physics is not for the faint hearted (or small minded) but it's not bad when you don't have to study Mechanics anymore (YIPPEE) and when the second strand of this course began after spring break, the new lecturer who's British is witty and super sarcastic (what's with sarcasm?) is just very fun. Although quantum physics is soooo not my type of thing, I'd bear with it because he's got a way to make you laugh at it. Michael Ashley+Richard Newbury were the lecturers. Michael Ashley's got this resemblance with Mr. Bean. I hope that's not an insult. (Rowan Atkinson graduated with a degree in electrical engineering AND he's a famous comedian. )

MATH1231 is well, maths and I don't exactly dig maths anymore as I used to back in secondary school, but I can't graduate with a Degree in Engineering if my maths suck! OH man.
But anyway, although I enrolled myself in the second lecture stream, I haven't actually attended any but instead went to the first lecture stream the ENTIRE semester, so now I'm wondering if I should fill in the survey for the lecture stream I actually attended or not.
Oh well.
Thanks Peter Blenerhassett and Hendrik Grundling. Both also very skinny one.
Oh one thing that happened in this subject is that I had 4 different tutors, and let me tell you why I have 4 different tutors. The confusion was like this:
The first was a man who turned up the first week, and then when I walked in the classroom for the second week of tutorial, I saw a woman in the room, walked back out, went down the corridor, and walked back into that room again and realised I was right the first time -_-". She stayed for two weeks and by the fourth week of semester, we had changed to this male tutor who I had a feeling is queer but I shall take that back 'cos it's not nice to speculate and he was there till the next week which then change a third time to this man who I found out has a Doctorate but somehow doesn't seem very well organised in his tutoring which can be rather annoying.
But anyway, the first and third tutors were granted medical leave, with the first one having some kinda back sprain and the third one a.... how shall I say.... groin sprain??!?? Can someone explain to me how does one sprain their groin?????!???
I'm still a bit unclear about that.
But anyway, one more week of Maths tutorial and that's it! Oh, and the exams.
(I'll still have to take a follow up math subject next year, oh dearrrrrrrrrr)

Computing. The subject that I have a major love-hate issue with. But it slowly swung over to love.
As aforementioned, I hated it last semester, I think it was partly how I don't really like how the lecturer lectured, but the one this semester is pretty good, and doesn't start speaking with the volume tapering off towards the end of his sentence (this is a massive problem among lecturers I think). Oliver Diessel is so proper. Which I liked.
Yes, I actually could do the assignments well and good. All on my own. AND I managed to do it in time :D
And one more thing.....
You know why the love-hate issue slowly sided over to love (love is such a strong word to use)
Let me tell you something.....
It started in the first week of comp tute. This is going to sound so wrong but yes I thought my tutor was cute (and I kinda still do think that) and that partially motivated my interest in the subject (I know, I'm so superficial, this is not good)
but despite being fixated with his looks I really think that's he's a good tutor. Like, honestly. Seriously.
I like how he's so proper and serious about computing. It somehow strikes me as attractive (there I go sounding so wrong again).
At one point I was head over heels, but no, I need to get my head levelled.
I think he did a better job tutoring than my last tutor. thanks Aaron:D
This coming week will be my last week of seeing him, oh damn, I shall miss him :/

There you go.
My recap of the year. it's not really a recap but I just felt like pressing the alphabet keys on my keyboard tonight and mask whatever I've written as a 'recap', since I can't press the ivory keys of my piano back home in Malaysia OH I MISS YOU SOOOOOOOOOO BABY

Toodles peeps, and thanks for reaching the end of my rant.

This post is an antonym of this post here.

I want to be your night and day so I can be with you all the time.

I'll be there for you; don't have to be alone with what you're going through.

I'm no superman but with you I feel I'm flying.

I'll be so alone without you.


Happy 20th Birthday Navin Niketh Sivanathan (I spelt that without having to refer to your Facebook or Skype etc etc, still call me worst best friend????)!!!!

Hope you'll take good care of that tiny baby and wear that pink shirt while you're at it :)
I'm in labu. It's quite serious, but at the same time silly.

A moment in the rain, and an opportunity missed.

Regrets, much. But at the same time, am not really having any.

I can laugh at myself now for the extent of my labuness. But right now, its more serious than I imagined it to be.
Thanks to whoever did this from deviantart
home and my piano. (and that one hour that got lost in time and space thanks to the incomprehensible concept of Daylight Savings. Incomprehensible because I don't really get why we do it. I like living on the equator where the length of day and night are constant year round.)
Clichés are so overdone. We need to find other means of doing something and make the cliché obsolete so that what's cliché now becomes fashionable once again.

(If that made any sense.) I have seen and heard and read too many clichés to the point of believing that there isn't anything left to be cliché anymore (because everything seems to be cliché to me).

Okay, anyway. That's enough clichés in one sentence.

I was asked today, "What are my interests?" and being me I tend to deflect questions I can't answer readily by asking or mentioning something related but doesn't usually tie back to the question at hand (I'm letting on something about myself that could potentially harm my deflecting tendencies).

I didn't answer the question in the end.
But I want to be able to answer this question affirmatively.

I think I answered somewhere before that I wanted to be so many things.
I still do.

But my interests? Hmmmm.

Not too long ago, I bought myself an A5 sketchbook and a set of cheap charcoal pencils (which I found its price exacting its quality, darn it) in an attempt to get the drawing juices coming in again.
I expended so much time, energy and effort onto the first drawing in the sketchbook, which was:
which if I'm not mistaken, got me working for about 4 hours straight. But it was a refreshing four hours.
I'm so no artist, and reproducing this sort of drawings is something, not too difficult given the time and drive to do it (Yes, I believe anyone can do it if they're really really driven). It's just a hobby, that's what it is. I like drawing, but being able to feel refreshed after drawing something you've put so much time and effort doesn't come by very often.

(I've recently joined deviantart, and art platform for fellow artists or pseudo ones to share their works. I've only added one, take a wild guess as to which one it was)

So, to answer this question, I think it would be drawing and piano. But I don't have a piano here with me now (Oh how I miss your ivory keys) so my interests are halved.

On a different note, the winds of Sydney have been just crazy. I guess it's common in Melbourne, but it's been behaving this way for three days now, and trust me when I say it ain't those sorta pleasant winds.
It brought along what I was told as sand/dust from the Northern Territory, covering most of Sydney in red sand/dust. It was a... incredible sight, but it made everything dusty too.

On another different note, I've been listening to "Stand By U" by DBSK everyday for the last 3 months. Omg, somebody pinch me. I never knew I could get hooked on a song for this long.

I think I shall nominate it Song of the Year.

If you have a strong enough why, you can bear almost any how.
"..Living only for the moment, turning our full attention to the pleasures of the moon, the snow, the cherry blossoms and the maple leaves; singing songs, drinking wine, diverting ourselves in just floating, floating; ... refusing to be disheartened, like a gourd floating along with the river current: this is what we call the floating world.."
Your political compass
Economic Left/Right: -0.25
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 0.26

Germae's Political Compass
(Because of the holidays, I have some free time on my hands and somehow had the urge to find out my political compass)

I don't know how to interpret this political compass of mine eloquently enough to be written out in words, but basically the graph is divided into four different-coloured sections, with the top and bottom parts signifying social dimension, that is to say, whether you lean more towards being an Authoritarian or a Libetarian (both being the extreme ends of the two halves) while the left-right sections signify economic dimension a.k.a/ your economic stand.

From how my graph looks like, I suppose I'm almost undecided as I veer very closely towards the centre of the graph.

But essentially, I'm more authoritarian than libetarian; more leftist than right.

Take the quiz!

(My dad will soo have something to say about this if I showed it to him.)

Toodles. Let's go do some other quizzes now since I have time in my hands since it's the holidays (I am so not the kind who does those really silly quizzes on Facebook, don't know what la, what is your marriage age la, what kinda boyfriend/girlfriend are you la. OMG man).

Of late, I've been exchanging lame pick-up lines with some people I know, and in turn have had a good laugh at most of them.

To share the wonders of picking up girls/whoever with awesome lines such as these, here goes:

If I could rearrange the alphabets, I would put "U" and "I" together.

Do you have a map? Because I'm lost in your eyes.

Is your father a terrorist? Because you are the bomb!

Are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day.

Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?

Can't remember some of them, but if you have any, drop a comment and add to the list!


On a side note, if I were told these lines, and if it wasn't meant as a joke, I'd laugh my ass off still anyway. My apologies to those who honestly tried and think it would work, but hats-off to the sentiment!


Are you from the sun? 'Cos you're so hot!

Are you chocolate? 'Cos you're so sweet!

Do you know how to drive? You just drive me crazy!

Do you like raisins?No.... How bout a date?
The weather looks great outside.

Spring is coming, I reckon, pretty soon.

The buds are out, the leaves are tiny still, and the pesky flies are up and about as well.

And then there's still a piece under the weather.
In the span of two days, I have three tests.

This is absolutely disproportionate.

ELEC1111 and Algebra tomorrow, Friday the 28th of August.

Physics (OMG) on Saturday, the 29th of August which is unkindly, the day of my roommate's birthday. I wish her (and me) well for the exam, and an advance


*...Just cut it out, and blow those candles off your (imaginary) cake*
I wanted to be so many things.

A pilot.
A doctor.
A lawyer (what was I thinking?!?).
A singer.
An artist.

Today, I'm in university studying Telecommunications Engineering.
Not in the first 10 years of my life did I think of anything within these lines (of engineering, that is).

And to be frank, I still don't.

I sometimes sit in lectures, wondering what the hell I'm studying, why electric fields multiplied by area equals electric flux, why vector spaces make the (mathematical) world go round and why Kirchoff's Laws make electricity 'the bomb'..... that I'm not the slightest bit interested in all these... stuff; daydreaming myself doing things far unrelated to these....stuff, things that I suppose capture my imagination but are best left pursued as side interests.

Which is the rationale, anyway.

Even so, I still want to be so many things.

Don't you know that nagging voice at the back of your mind, which cries for a proper outlet for itself, the voice that has been hushed for who-knows-how-long so something else can take up the space; do you know it?
Do you know that once that voice quietens down, it might never make itself heard again, that sooner or later, you'll lose it, and you wonder where it went?
Do you know?

I know it.

I think I'm losing it. Although the desire and drive to be so many things are there, the substance is missing.

But....Once upon a time, they were there.

I have officially moved.
I now live nearer to Uni than before.
I am glad.


and yet there are many things that need to be straightened out.
As I was clearing up some of my (limited) workspace, I came upon a leaflet that I got from church a couple of weeks ago, just about when Pentecost was.

Thought it'd be nice to share it here, since it was finely written, with a message that speaks volumes to me about the need for Truth (excerpted) .

No Truth, No Freedom

We usually take truth for granted in every-day life. It is only when we discover that we have been deceived, or at least mistaken, that the full truth dawns on us. We need truth like we need oxygen.

We are hurt by lies (when we discover them). It helps when the doctor correctly diagnoses our illness. Truth matters. We expect others to be sincere and hope they are accurate.

Freedom is something else again. On the one hand truth seems to limit our options, while on the other hand no adult wants to be relying on illusions.

Which of the following two individuals is free? A good man in jail or a rich playboy hooked on alcohol and drugs?
Perhaps each is imprisoned in a different way. Should we be free to break our solemn commitments? Are we free to break the ten commandments? Many centuries ago Jesus Christ, the teacher all Christians follow, said to his Jewish disciples:

"If you make my word your home you will indeed be my disciples; you will come to know the truth and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31-32)

As for me, the truth, in whatsoever situation, whether it directly involves me or not, is indeed liberating.

I know that, sometimes, learning the truth through means other than being told it is easily taken for being a busybody, to be of 'no right to know', but the fact to me is, concealing something is almost as good as being called a lie, or am I as wrong as I can possibly be?

(I have certain trouble at explaining myself, but I hope I got my point across one way or another)

Sometimes, upon learning the truth, it hurts, almost to the point where you can feel, literally, immobilized of all sensations.
Sometimes also, learning the truth bears no burden on you, but it does feel lighter once all doubts are cleared.
Sometimes, the truth is all you need to make things right.
I had the most awesome holiday (mostly because 1st Sem was a bloody killer, and you can't imagine how stress-free I was feeling during the exam period, as strange as it may seem), both in Sydney and Melbourne. Miss those involved so much <3

Am happy with results. I guess I couldn't ask for more la. I get very irritated by those who did better than me and bang their heads against the wall for not being able to get that 90++ (I got all less than 90, barely more than 80 for some. My head should break the wall if I had their mentality)

Sem 2 begun today. I am going to try and keep my spirits up for the next 13 weeks.

(O Lord, for You are my strength, bring me through this in the abundance of Your love)
.. regarding the switch from English to Bahasa for the teaching of Science and Mathematics in our national and vernacular schools, I have this email to put on this post:

UiTM English "Konfusing"

(Hello, our director from UiTM wrote this piece of English. hahaha..)


Dear Sport Friends,

Regarding about the global issue H1N1 happens around the world, sadly to be informing that our UiTM International Sports Fiesta will be postponing to 19-23 November 2009.

For all teams which have been confirm to participate in our events, we have to say sorry for this announcements and our
Ministry of Higher Education and Ministry of Health also advise to us to change the date for this current situation.

By the date have been confirm incoming this November hopefully your teams still can participate in our event and don’t hesitate to contact us for further information.

And again, we would like to say sorry about the date change for the sake of our health among us.

See you in this November at UiTM Malaysia!!

Regards,Mr. Mustaza Ahmad
Sports Centre
Universiti Teknologi MARA

Congratulations to those who have read from start to finish unscathed in your English knowledge and unconfused in logic sentence structuring.
(I couldn't say the same for myself).

Just to pen off, let me just end with this:
If this is the sorry state of English the Director of UiTM's Sports Centre is able to master, by golly.... we've got lots of work to do with our future generation's English mastery so that people won't get all confused when reading official letters!
As mentioned, over a week ago, I had a nice, long chat (more like a one-sided conversation where one person does all the talking, but let's just stick with convention and call it a 'chat') with my landlady and indeed, it was truly inspiring (my choice of words might be a little wrong, but just bear with it till the end of the post).

One thing that I must say before anything else is that, when you're a parent to an adult, I suppose it makes a lot of sense to want to see your child be married, settled down, and bear you a bunch of grandchildren.
If you're the adult child, you might find your parent to be a nag if it's being said to you over and over again but you're still single as ever.

So, here goes.

My landlady is 57 years old (she said she didn't mind having people know her age, and mind you she looks young for her age ANYWAY) and has a daughter in her late 20's/early 30's somewhere there who's unmarried.
It comes as no surprise when my landlady tells me that she has been trying to matchmake her daughter with some young men previously before, but to no avail as her daughter is still single (I'm not sure if she's even looking for one herself).
This concerns her mother due to her age(apparently, a girl's market value drops with age) and the fact that she is an only child, so.. all the more so, right?
It might seem to some as though her mother (aka my landlady) is just being too traditional and restrictive of how her daughter should lead her life by 'pressuring' her to get married and start a family.
But the thing is this: she made a very good point about why she did what she did (is continuing to do so as we speak).

My landlady recollected a time when her daughter was working in a company in Sydney and had been at it for somewhere between a year or so. She decided to leave the company for greener pastures in the UK(which is where she is now) so she gave in her resignation letter, and all that jazz that people do when they resign.
As with most major companies, they have that annual retreat/event that all employees are invited to. Although her resignation was probably just past a few days or was going to come, she was completely omitted from the invitation list for that yearly event, even though she had been an asset to that company. Like, just completely forgotten.
Such gratitude.

Well, bottom line here is that, if you were to place career over family, get this: the company you work for can easily find someone to replace you, and they get over you quickly because you're never quite that irreplaceable as you might assume yourself to be during your tenure.
But if you leave a family, you never can be replaced. Your mother will always love you, and so will your dad, and the rest of your family. Everyone. Just imagine if you lost a brother, a mother, etc. A new mother isn't quite the same, because the old one will always hold a special place in your heart and nothing can change that.

So, my landlady's point of getting married eventually in life makes absolute sense. When you die, you can't take anything with you, but you can only leave everything you have behind. If you had a family, you leave behind a bloodline in the children that you have. And that's a beautiful thing.
Family. Pure and simple. It's the one thing that can never be broken; for blood is thicker than water.

Well then, not much of a deep thinker nor talker but yeah that's the dish. I just felt so inspired after that and thought I should pen it down at the very least... though... by inspired it kinda means that I'm suppose to be in search of 'the one' to spend the rest of my life with, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.

Wow, wedding vows can sound so beautiful.

And also... imagine how lonely it would feel to have no special one in your life, the one that sticks around, in good times and in bad, until death do you both part.
Loneliness is a terrible feeling, I think.

I guess being the idealistic type of person, these vows are just simply perfect, but yes everything has its own challenges, and you don't have to go at it alone.

I don't know where I'm heading by writing these words out.
I guess I just think that anyone all out for a single life is making a wrong choice.
To me, I never thought of a single life for the rest of the days that I still have breath to be fun, but perhaps I was tuned from young to the sound of marriage bells somewhere in the future, God knows when, but it has to happen somehow, somewhen for me.
I am single, available, not exactly searching, but when someone lands in front of me, I shouldn't miss the chance, should I?
Okay, I'm risking myself sounding desperate, but it's just a statement.
I have many years ahead to not have to think about it now, but as my landlady says,
"You must get a boyfriend so that one day you get married."

Haha. We'll see where this heads to.

Always wanted your legs to look something like this:

Aren't these legs just lovely?

Well, now you can too!

Get your own "Lovely Legs"!

How much would it cost for you to have a pair of "Lovely Legs"?


$6.50? WOWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Awesome!

But wait.
$6.50 a KILOGRAM? Hold on a minute. A KILOGRAM?!?!?!

What's going on here?

Oh, I see.
Lovely legs indeed :)
I finally found an awesome crack for Photoshop CS3.
Now I have Photoshop CS3 installed.

*laughs like an evil, mad scientist with pipe organ playing in background.*
Envy is a sin.

I have therefore, sinned.
I hate myself when I don't ask things I should be asking.
Cluelessness is a very bad feeling (along with loneliness, hopelessness, sadness, etc.)
Sometimes I wonder what is stopping me from asking the things I need to ask.
(Like in tutorials and lectures. Uni is going to take a lot of getting used to if I cease asking)
I mean, it doesn't kill to ask, does it?
I, the painfully shy girl, who needs a lot of coercing to get things said and done, must be made to ask.
What about you, the more flamboyant one (no one can't beat me, I'm sure)?
ASK, and you shall receive.

Well, the worst that could happen is the door closes in front of your face, yet there's always another door right next to it to try and open...
I can finally say Semester 1 of my first year is done (well, apart from the looming exams that is).

That has been pretty fast, wasn't it?

Then again, 12 weeks isn't all that much for proper studying.

Slap me now. I have a week till my first paper.

One of the few goals I have while I'm here(apart from passing my courses for this semester) is to get a Minties from my Maths tutor.
I think he's a pretty cool kinda man, who I believe is in his 40's. Cool because.... he gives Minties as incentive.
The three ways you can get a Minties from him is if you answered his question correctly, suggest better ways to answer a question or correct his wrong answer.
After 11 weeks, I finally got my Minties.

And it was good.
I’m taking a ride off to one side
It is a personal thing.
When I can’t stand
Up in this cage I’m not regretting.

I don’t need a better thing,
I’d settle for less,
It’s another thing for me,
I just have to wander through this world

Stop before you fall
Into the hole that I have dug here,
Rest even as you
Are starting to feel the way I used to,
I don’t need a better thing
(Just to sound confused)
Don’t talk about everyone,
I am not amused by you.

I’m gonna lose you,
Yeah I’m gonna lose you
If I’m gonna lose you,

I’m gonna lose you,
Yeah I’m gonna lose you
If I’m gonna lose you
I’ll lose you now for good

by Pete Yorn
I recently wrote on my Facebook status that I want to go home. It's true, I really want to go home, and home being that in Malaysia.

I know for those who have settled in comfortably and are taking it all in their stride, I seem purely homesick and I would just "have to get over it."

Truth is, I really do have to get over it. I came here last month to study for the next 4 years in Sydney to become an engineering graduate (though right now I'm wondering 'what did I get myself into'), and whatever that happens in between, is my problem and I have to deal with it myself. Harsh.

I believe at this stage in life I'm confronted by lots of independent matters, namely dealing with financial matters, domestic chores and just plainly getting by all on my own. The comforts of home now seem rather taken for granted of.

Rewind to a year ago, I dreamt of my time in Australia as an exhilarating one, a country different than my own, exciting, different but definitely much to do, and I couldn't wait for it to come sooner. But as the date of flight loomed, I begun to dread it, fearing the worse.

But what was 'the worse'? Well, right now, it feels rather lonely to be out Down Under without making/having acquaintances (thanks to my introversion in the face of very new people, namely local Australians). But like I said before, I got to deal with it. I'm happy knowing the people I know now, but really, how much of a friendship can you make with people who share little common ground with you other than attending the same tutorial once a week? And lectures? No need to say.

Yes, I have got lots to deal with.

I hope I did not write this sounding like I'm vying for a sympathy vote that I should go home, but rather just to vent about my current (emotional) state.

Yes, I miss home far too much than I should.

Keeping busy is the only solution now it seems. Tata. I'm off to keeping myself busy with... Physics? My my.

1. Look Right!

A typical crossroad in Sydney City. The crossroads are usually this huge, and most of the time, you've always got at least 5 more people heading in the same direction as you are. And that, my friends, is the common sight around here.

2. A-hah! There it is!

Yes, how can one visit Sydney without visiting the Sydney Opera House? Indeed not! Presumably, there are at least 100, 000 other visitors' butt prints where I was sitting at. The iconic gets a little cliché after seeing it too long :P.

3. Coogee Beach; it's near my place :)

One of several beaches in the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney, Coogee beach is no less scenic as the others. Not to mention, it's just a 10 minute walk from my place to this beach. I would love to have taken pictures during one of the walks I took along the perimeter of the shores that have a special walkway built which extend all the way to neighbouring beaches. The sights are very beautiful. Really.

4. Now, THIS is THE beach to be

I'm no beach connoisseur, so I lack the necessary judgement for all matters pertaining to good beach quality but anyway, Bondi Beach attracts a large population everyday. It's huge and the waves are just massive (for surfers). The sea is just amazingly blue right up to the sands. Definitely a place to be for beach enthusiasts (although I'm just saying that 'cos lots of people come here).

5. The Iconic Link

The focus of this picture is not on the white dude, but the bridge, fyi. But it was an added bonus I suppose. The Harbour Bridge, yet another iconic structure of Sydney. It really is a massive structure, that's about all I can say. I'm no not how to appreciate bridges, but if you ask me, the sight is splendid from where I stood.

*this post is intended as a mindless update. Overlook tasteless commentaries.

To all who wish to visit Sydney (although yours truly is unable to provide foc accommodation), drop me a line :-)
Hi all. I'm in Sydney now. Will update much much more (with pictures of the place, though there is much to be desired) when I settle down completely. I dislike the feeling of unsettled-ness(tossing all my clothes wherever I want, leaving my laptop on for downloads, etc.), although I'm feeling comfy enough where I'm at for the moment.
scrutiny rhymes with mutiny which rhymes with destiny.

No correlation whatsoever between these words, but they differ in meaning greatly.

My mind has been in ramble mode these days, and I'm deimpressed by the absence of written pieces on this site.

But no matter, these three things rule me now, so-called.

I have to practise scrutiny - packing requires a certain amount of aptitude to squeeze every bit of belonging into the much too limited space and making the best out of every baggage orifice.

And as for mutiny - my rebelling against the land down under's customs requirements. No chance of an open rebellion, but in the heart is what counts right?

destiny - As the traditional tune of " Que Sera Sera," - Whatever will be, will be; the future's not ours to see.
E.I. = Emotional Intelligence

Low E.I. = Drama is inevitable and you have to fight back
High E.I. = Drama is unnecessary and easily avoided

Low E.I. = Everyone here is out to get me
High E.I. = Everyone here can be had

-extracted from "Death By Powerpoint - A Modern Office Survival Guide"-
I don't like the prospect of leaving home in Malaysia for numerous uncertainties in that land down under.

Not yet, just not yet.