When I was a child, I never thought of the process of growing up into an adult; sometimes, it never even struck me that I would someday be an adult, like my mum and dad, and all those adults around me at the time.

It felt, back then, that adults just came into the world as they are, as adults, while I get to start off as a kid, and so did all my friends. That we were somehow, growing older, but never really losing our currency of time.

The reality would some day hit me as an adult, perhaps 15 or so years later that we all inevitably grow older. Now at 22, I'm very much passed the 'adult threshold' age of 21. I guess I was in one of my pensive (almost depressive) moods where I try to project my life down the road, 10, 20 years. In all honesty, I could not see even past a year from now. This feeling of uncertainty can lead one to endless worries -- what will I be doing for money, where am I going to live, how am I going to cope with adult-life matters.
For every day that passes, the simpler life back in the past seems to be.

That being said, the more time has passed, the more of life we have seen. The phrase that "we are students of life" means that life is our teacher, and that is very true. Every experience that life throws at us should be a learning moment, one that teaches us and makes us understand what it feels like to go through it. It's hard to understand something that you've never truly experienced before. It's like saying the sharp pain in your back is like "someone stabbing you with a knife" but not actually having had someone stabbing you before. How do you know what it feels like? You can only approximate it because of what you think it may feel like. I should not be able to say "I understand what you're going through" if someone told me that their house was destroyed by fire. I would be stunned, and my inability to fully empathize makes me feel helpless. The least I can do is maybe give him some monetary and domestic help.

The point is, while you may not be able to understand what it feels like, the best thing to maybe do is to try and understand, or just be kind. People need support in difficult times, and I think that it's the knowledge that someone's there to be by their side that makes it best thing that you can offer.

To me, sympathy means nothing if you do not act on it. What's the point of feeling sorry if you can't offer something to help, right? Feeling sorry doesn't change things except your emotional state. Feeling sorry might even make the stricken party feel even shittier. I might be over-thinking, but sympathy is not very useful without action.

Okay enough melodrama.

I remember keeping a log book while I was in high school about the things I want to achieve in the next 5 years. Those next 5 years are up, and I can't help but feel a tinge of disappointment at my current state looking back at how I was rather ambitious 5 years ago. I know it wasn't a hard-and-fast promise to myself, but it would have been nice if some of them actually happened. But alas, they were not to be.
I apologize, my younger self.

Again, my aimless writing has made me lose sight of what my point is. Maybe I never truly had one. I just wanted to get some words out so that the future self can read back on it and remember the things that have happened in that time. Hopefully, I'll be slightly better in 5 years' time.

here's a quote:
"Time. It is the only commodity that appreciates over the years. As you grow older, there's less of it and it becomes more valuable. It's like your youth. You probably don't even realise it now because you think it is limitless".


You got it right.